


Sleepwalker

by Chalichi



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Hallucinations, Insomnia, M/M, Nightmares, Sleep Deprivation, Slow Burn, Smut, sleep paralysis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-09-21 06:22:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9535670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chalichi/pseuds/Chalichi
Summary: Daryl nodded at Jesus.“It was my dad.” Daryl murmured.“The scars. He… It's his work.” Daryl clarified when Jesus raised his brow questioningly.“I'm sorry you had to go though that.” Jesus murmured.“Thanks. And I'm sorry you had to go through… All that.” Daryl said.***Daryl is haunted by vivid nightmares every night, that leaves him exhausted.Will he keep on in this sleepwalking state or will someone react and help him?(Takes place some time after Daryl gets saved from the sanctuary.)





	1. Chapter One

~~

 _He was running. Running from the hands that were emerging from the walls, grabbing after him._  
He heard the shuffling of feet behind him, getting closer no matter how fast he ran.  
His lungs were burning and he could feel the coppery taste of blood in his mouth.  
He could see a bright light breaking out at the end of the dark corridor, and as he got closer to it the clawing hands started to faint away.

 _He left the corridor behind him and got out to a clearing that bathed in light. He couldn't see_ _where the light were coming from but he could se shadowy figures sitting on a row on the ground._  
They were kneeling in front of someone.  
The standing figure were talking, but he couldn't make any words out. It was like the figure were talking in a phone with very bad reception, the words were cracking and cut off.

 _Suddenly the kneeling figures started screaming! And the standing figure raised something in his hands and lowered it in an alarming speed against one of the_ _kneeling figures heads!_

_Suddenly the bad reception broke and one particular scream went through._

_“NOO GLENN!!!”  
It was Maggie's voice._

_The light shifted just in time for him to see Glenn's mangled face looking over at the breaking down Maggie.  
“M-Maggie… I'll f-find… You…”_

_Negan lowered the already bloodied bat against Glenn's head once more…_

~~

Daryl's eyes shoot up! The sickening sound of wood hitting bone still echoing in his ears.  
He tried to sit up, only to discover that he couldn't.  
He moved his eyes to look down at the length of his body to make sure that there was nothing pinning him down on the bed.  
There wasn't.

He tried to move his arms and legs, but they were as heavy as lid.  
His breathing picked up and he could hear his heart hammer in his ears.  
He looked up at the ceiling and saw the shapes of the arms from his dream starting to form up there. They were stretching out for him and were trying to claw at him. He could hear the sound of shuffling feet and the sickening snarling from the dead coming from behind them.

He tried to scream, but nothing came out. He'd never been so terrified in his life!  
He felt defenseless and small, like he used to when he'd woken up from a bad dream as a kid and had ran over to his mothers room.  
Only now he couldn't run to his mother, he couldn't even fucking MOVE!

He shut his eyes quickly, willing himself to breathe normally.  
The sound of shuffling feet and the snarling were gradually growing more and more distant, and just as slowly he regained the ability to move his limbs a little.

When he opened his eyes after a few minutes the arms had vanished completely. But he couldn't shake the panicked feeling. The vision of the outstretched arms were playing on repeat in his mind together with the dream of Negan killing Glenn in cold blood.

*

“You ok Daryl?” Rick asked, brows furrowed in concern when Daryl had yawned for the twentieth time since he’d sat down by the table a half hour ago.

“I'm fine. Jus’ tired.” He said, forcing a small smile in Ricks direction.

After he'd woken up from the nightmare and he was no longer paralyzed he hadn't dared to go back to sleep.  
The mere thought of having to go through that one more time had made him wide awake in an instant.

So he had gone up and gotten dressed, only to discover it was still pitched black outside and he was the only one awake in all of Hilltop, aside from the ones keeping watch.  
He'd gone outside, the cold air waking him up even more.  
He had walked around Hilltop for a few hours, the grip of the nightmare slowly letting him go.  
After watching the sun rinse in the horizon he'd gone inside the Barrington house and waited for the rest of his family to wake up.

Rick and Jesus had been the fist ones to rise.  
Rick had walked down the stairs from the top floor from the room he and Michonne occupied with Carl.  
Jesus had walked in from the main entrance.  
Both greeted him with a nod.

“Daryl. You're up early.” Jesus had said.

“Yea, couldn't sleep.” He'd mumbled.

Jesus just raised his eyebrows and nodded.

After Jesus and Rick had talked about something Daryl didn't have the energy to follow with, Jesus had asked them if they were interested in some breakfast.  
Daryl wasn't particularly hungry, but he perked up with the mention of coffee and followed the thinner man out the door to the common serving space.

Rick had walked upstairs to wake Michonne and Carl up and joined them later with his family in tow.

“You look dead on your feet” Michonne said after Daryl had yawned widely once more.

“Mmh.” He grunted and pored his forth cup of coffee. “M’ fine.”  
He knew he looked like shit, but the thought of going back to sleep was out of the question.

“You should get some rest later.” He heard Jesus pitch in.

Daryl shook his head.  
“Nah, I'll be fine. Just need somethin’ ta do.”

Jesus looked at him with the same expression Rick had given him a few minutes ago.  
“Harlan said you should take it easy for a few days. You shouldn't strain your shoulder to much if you want it to heal properly.” He said.

Daryl sighed and rubbed his stinging eyes with the back of his hands.  
“Yea, well. Give me somethin’ easy ta do then. Anythin’ really!” He said, sounding more desperate than he wanted.

Jesus leaned back in his chair, looking at the older man.  
“I might find something for you to do.” He said.

He looked up at Jesus and gave him a nod. He could see Michonne and Rick exchanging concerned glanced at each other, but he decided to pretend he didn't see it.  
He didn't have the energy to care.

*

Jesus tracked Daryl down about an half hour after breakfast to tell him he'd found a job for him.

“A few of the crops needs to be harvested and there's a few weeds that needs to be taken care of too. You're up for it?” He asked, handing Daryl a pair of work gloves.

Daryl stared at the gloves in Jesus outstretched hand for a few heartbeats before accepting them.

“Yea, sure! I'll take care of that.” He said.  
He was relieved to actually be able to focus on anything other than how utterly exhausted he felt.

Jesus gave him a friendly smile and nodded, but Daryl didn't miss the slight flash of concern in his eyes before he walked away.

*

After Daryl had located the plots he busied himself in the work. After a few minutes of harvesting and digging up weeds with his hands, the mind numbing work lulled him into a form of trance.  
It wasn't until Maggie had called for him to tell him that dinner was served that he noticed how late it had gotten.

The sun was hanging low and even a few stars could be spotted on the deep blue sky.  
He let go of what he was holding and started to walk towards her.

“Good god! I've been calling for you for at least two minutes!” Maggie laughed.

Daryl snapped his gaze on her in slight shock. Had she really? He was usually very observant, even the slightest sound would draw his attention.  
The mere thought of him. It hearing someone calling his name a few feet away was enough to send chills trough his spine.

“Sorry, must've been really into it.” He mumbled, looking down suddenly feeling ashamed.

“I guess you were.” She said.  
He could feel her hand on his shoulder, the warmth of her seeping through the thin fabric of his borrowed shirt.  
“Are you feeling okay Daryl?” She asked. He could feel she was trying to get him to look at her, but he really couldn't face that right now. He just knew that her eyes would be filled with worry and understanding, and that wasn't something he felt like he deceived from her. Not right now and maybe not ever, even if he knew she didn't blame him for anything he were still feeling guilty for the death of her husband and the father of her unborn child that was growing in her still flat belly.

“M’ fine.” He said, still staring down at the ground stubbornly.

“You sure? Cause you can tell me you know.”

He managed to glance up at her, without meeting her eyes and gave her a small forced smile.  
“Yea, m’ just really tired.”

She like the rest of his family just gave him a nod, not really buying it, but they apparently knew better than to push him too much.

“Alright, just know that I'm here if you ever feel like talking.” She said and started to lead him towards the common dining place.  
“Let's go and eat okay?”

*

Once Daryl sat down by the table and had received his food the exhaustion he'd pushed away while working came back with full force, and had apparently brought some friends with it!  
His head felt foggy and he had trouble keeping his eyes open.

He took a few bites of his food, reasoning with himself that all he needed was some energy into his system and that he would bounce back again afterwards.

“Hey Daryl! Wake up!” He heard Jesus calling right beside him.

He shoot straight up in the chair he was sitting in and turned his head towards the bearded man beside him, feeling more than a little confused.

“Looks like you almost blacked out there for a while.” He said, the same smile as he'd given him before were present on his lips, but this time he could see the concern in his eyes bright and clear.

“Sorry. Must be more exhausted than I thought.” He said, feeling embarrassed for being so visibly week in front of everyone.

“No worries, you're still healing after all.” Jesus said.  
“Why don't you go and lie down? I'm sure you'll feel a lot better after a good night’s sleep.”

Daryl did agree that it sounded more than tempting, since he'd barley gotten any sleep the night before and been busy the whole day he was more than certain he would sleep the full night without any incident.

“I think I'll just do that.” He agreed, to tired to even bother disagreeing with the man like he'd normally do.

He got up from his seat and wandered off towards the Barrington house without as much as sending a glance to his family who he knew were watching him walk away.

*  
When Daryl had reached his room in the huge house he more or less collapsed on the bed.  
He was so tired he didn't even bother taking his clothes off.  
He rolled onto his back and stared up at the white ceiling as he felt his eyelids grow heavier and heavier.

~~  
_He were running trough the dark corridor again. The rotten arms in the wall grabbing after him just like before.  
He could hear the shuffle of feet behind him, the echo from them bouncing between the walls._

 _As he ran further into the corridor dark figures started appearing in front of him._  
The dark figures were blocking the only way through, so his only choice was to try and run past _them._  
As he ran closer to the figures he started to see them more clearly, the rotting skin, the torn clothes and the bared rotting teeth.  
They were walkers! There were walkers blocking his way!  
He started to reach for the knife by his hip, only to find that he was completely unarmed. He didn't have his crossbow and now his fucking knife was gone too!

_He stopped a few feet in front of the small herd of walkers, desperately trying to figure out how the hell he should get past them without them tearing into him._

_As he were standing there he could hear the walkers behind him move in closer, the echo of their steps thundering in his ears like a drum with a promise of death.  
The sickening growling sounds coming for the walkers was heard right behind him, he turned his head around and discovered that he was now completely surrounded by walkers._

_He had no time to think so he just jumped right into the small herd in front of him, successfully knocking two of them off balance.  
He ran as fast as he could away from the small heard, briefly thinking that it had been way too easy._

_He continued running like a mad man, his lungs staring to burn unpleasantly. Soon he started to spot the same blinding light as the night before at the end of the dark corridor. When he ran out of the corridor and into the clearing, the light were switched off.  
There was only one person sitting on the ground in front of Negan this time. The persons face were hidden by a bag covering the head._

_Negan looked over at Daryl and pulled the bag off of the persons head, revealing Rick for Daryl. Rick looked up at him from the ground with huge sad eyes filled with unshed tears._

_“D-Daryl? Why?” He said brokenly._

_“No… Rick?” Daryl said, and started to walk towards him._

_He managed to walk a few steps before Negan swung his Lucille for the first time, hitting Rick square in the jaw._

_Daryl fell to his knees and just sat_ _and watched as Rick cried out in agony, his lower jaw jutting out in an unnatural direction.  
Negan swung Lucille again, this time hitting him on top of the head, knocking him out cold._

_Daryl looked over at Rick’s lifeless form on the ground and felt chills running through his body._

_He heard footsteps approach him and he looked up to find Negan staring down at him with a huge grin plastered to his face.  
He crunched down to face Daryl and looked dead into his eyes._

_“This is all your fault.” He said to him and stood up._

~~

Daryl woke up to his own screams.  
He sat up in the bed and looked around in the room in panic.  
For a brief moment he had no idea were he was. He was breathing hard and was completely drenched in sweat, the shirt he had on clinging to his back uncomfortably.

He jumped out off bed and marched out off the room and almost ran towards the bathroom.  
He filled the sink with some cold water he'd found in a small barrel by the door and washed his clammy face with it, the chill of the water waking him up some more and hunted away some of the traces of the nightmare.

He stood by the sink for a few minutes and just breathed, repeated “it was only a dream” out loud to himself.  
He’d had nightmares in the past, but not one of those had ever felt so real like the ones he was having now.

He was still just as tired as when he'd gone to bed, but he had no plans of going back to sleep.

Once he calmed himself down enough he drained the water in the sink and walked out off the bathroom.  
He glanced towards the window and saw that it was still dark out, he didn't have a watch to confirm it, but he thought it was around midnight to one in the morning.

He sighed and started to walk back to his room.  
Once he walked in trough the door and looked over at the messy bed a nauseating feeling rolled through his guts, and he quickly decided that he couldn't be in this room right now.  
He walked out and steered his steps towards the library instead.

*  
The library in the Barrington house was more or less a room with bookshelves filled with various books lined up on the walls and in the middle of the room than a real library.  
Most of the books had come from various supply runs and some of them vas in worse shape than others.  
But nobody was complaining, having access to something that even resembled a library was a privilege in this day and age.

As he sneaked into the library the first thing he saw was Jesus sitting on the only sofa with his nose in a book.  
He looked up when he heard Daryl walk in through the door and eyed him questioningly.

“Hey.” He said, putting the book away beside him on the sofa.  
“What are you doing here?”

Daryl shrugged and walked over to the sofa and sat down beside him.  
“Couldn't sleep. Thought I might get some reading done instead.” He answered.

“Hmm. Right.” Jesus answered, not sounding convinced.  
“Didn't take you for the reading kind of guy.”

Daryl chuckled and shook his head.  
“Nah, m’ not. But it's never too late to start right?” He said, finally meeting Jesus gaze.

Jesus smiled at him and picked up the book he was reading, now jammed in between the two of them.  
“No, it's never too late to start reading.” He answered, flipping through the pages to find where he’d stopped.

“What are ya doin’ here?” Daryl asked him.

Jesus shrugged and then scratched the backside of his head, tilting the beanie he still had on his head to the side.  
“Well, I have already read all the books in my trailer so I thought I could search this place in hope of reading something new. Then I just got stuck here I guess.” He explained.

Daryl nodded at the explanation and looked down at the book in Jesus lap.  
“What are ya reading?” He asked, finding that he really liked the other mans voice for some reason.

“The original folk and fairy tales of the brothers Grimm.” He said, holding the book up for Daryl to see.  
“It's like a collection of various fairy tales, like Cinderella and Snow White, I've already read this one too, but I don't have it in my trailer.”

Daryl looked at the cover of the book. It was ragged and worn in the corners, but you could still see the title and the picture on the books cover.

“I think I've heard about ‘em.” He said.  
“Ain't there movies ‘bout ‘em?”

Jesus laughed loudly. Daryl furrowed his brows in confusion.

“Yeah, by Disney. The movies doesn't really tell the full story. These stories are much grimmer. Much more blood to say the least. It's not really something you should read for small children as a bedtime story. I wouldn't do it at least.  
I do understand why they changed the story's in the movies, but I prefer these versions.” He said, looking at Daryl, laughter still visible in his eyes.

“Okay.” Daryl said leaning back in the sofa.  
“Which one’s your favorite?” He asked then, wanting the other man to keep on talking.

“Wow, that's a really tough one.” Jesus said, looking up at the ceiling.  
“I think it's a tie between Cinderella and Rapunzel.” He said after a few minutes.

“Why?” Daryl asked, surprised by his actual curiosity to the subject. He'd never been interested in books before and absolutely not by listening to others talk about books.

“I don't know. I guess it's the darkness in them that really intrigues me.” He said looking at Daryl again with a sad smile.  
“Cinderella gets a shot at impossible love. In the beginning everybody's agains her. Her father dies and she is left with her evil stepmother and her two daughters. Her stepmother and siblings bosses her around and makes her do everything for them, but then she gets help from her fairy godmother and she helps her to meet her prince. And then time runs out and she has to get away.  
In the end she does get her prince, and she revenges her family in the most brutal way.”

“That really does sounds like a twisted love story.” Daryl laughed.

“It really is! Rapunzel isn't better in the slightest, a little more tragic though.” He said with a huge yawn.  
“I think I will turn in. You coming with?”

Daryl shook his head,  
“Nah, think I will stay here for while.” He said.

Jesus furrowed his brow but didn't say anything about it.  
“Okay, I'll see you later then.” He said and got up from the sofa, still holding the torn book in his hand.  
“Good night.”

“Night.” Daryl said watching him leave the library.

As soon as the door closed behind Jesus Daryl got up on his feet and started rummaging through the book titles in hope to find anything about nightmares that ended up in paralysis, but none of the titles stood out.  
There wasn't even a book about medical stuff or anatomy anywhere !  
He guesses Dr Carson would have one or two medical books, but he didn't want to lie to the doctor about why he wanted to borrow them, and he wasn't ready to tell anyone about his sleep problems right now.  
He felt embarrassed about it, he was sure everyone living in this world had bad dreams and he as sure as hell didn't want to wine about his bad dreams.

He sighed deeply and laid down on the sofa, rubbing his tired eyes.

*  
After a few nights had passed with him having that same nightmare over and over, the only changes was Negan choosing a different victim every night. So far it had been Maggie, Eugene, Sasha and Carl who had fallen victim for the barbed bat.  
And even though the nightmares still were bad, the absence of the paralysis had been a good thing and was he actually beginning to function quite normally again.  
Even his family had noticed the change, they didn't look at him with worry written all over their faces and didn't ask him if he were okay all the time.  
Things were good, or as good as he could hope it to be.  
And he was feeling the change too, his mood wasn't as surly and his head and body didn't feel as off anymore.  
The wound on his shoulder had been healing good enough for him to be able to walk outside the wall, that a small victory that alone!

It was when Daryl was walking back from his refreshing trip from the outside when Rick had called out for him from the wall.  
Daryl stopped in his tracks to wait for the other man to catch up with him.

“Hey! How're you feeling? You look better.” Rick said, smiling at him, not the sympathetic smile people had been flashing at him for some time now. No, this was an genuine smile.

“M’ good. Felt good to be able to walk out there on my own.” He said motioning toward the wall behind them.

“I bet! We still need to be careful though, with Negan and his men still out there.” Rick said, the hunter grunted in agreement.  
“That's actually why I stopped you. We're having a meeting tonight in Jesus trailer about how we should handle this whole Negan situation.” He added. “We thought you would want to be there.”

“Yea, I do.” Daryl answered quickly. Anything that had anything to do with getting Negan off the throne he'd built for himself Daryl wanted to be a part off.

“Great!” Rick exclaimed. “We'll meet up after dinner.” He added, patting Daryl on the shoulder before taking off to resume his watch on the wall.

*  
After dinner they walked together as a group to Jesus trailer.  
Maggie, Sasha, Michonne and Rick took a seat at the table while Jesus and Daryl were leaning against the wall by the door. Both for watching so nobody were getting in unnoticed or were eavesdropping on their conversation,  
And because there weren't enough chairs for everyone.  
Enid and Carl were both in charge of keeping people out of the way, but they couldn't be too careful.

“So, we've called this meeting because we have to decide what we're going to do with Negan and the saviors.” Rick started.  
“Jesus, Carl and Daryl are the only ones that have actually been there, and even though I really hate having to bring up bad memories for you Daryl, we really have to know how the place is built, how big it is and how good the security is over there.” He said looking directly over at the hunter standing by the door.

“’S alright.” Daryl shrugged.

Rick nodded and continued to talk about possible ways in without being noticed, while he unfolded a large piece of paper and placed it on the table.

“Jesus, you got into the sanctuary without anyone seeing you right?” Rick asked the bearded man.

“I did, but that was because I was hiding on the roof of a moving vehicle.” He said, walking over to Rick.  
“Look, I've practiced all kinds of stunts over the years, and that's the only reason I can do stuff like that. But I don’t think any of you guys would be able to pull that off, I was really lucky that no one of the saviors saw me, I mean, Daryl did!”

The older man chuckled at the memory of Jesus lying sprawled on top of the truck.  
“Yea, I did.” He said amusingly.

“So I think we should try to find a different way in, and maybe come up with a plan for what we should do when we get in? I mean we can't go in and start shooting all over the place.” Jesus said sternly.

Rick hummed and asked Jesus to make a drawing of the place. He then asked Daryl to mark out were the guards were placed and where they were located under the course of time.

“This is all good, but Jesus is right! We need a plan! We need people! We can't do this on our own!” Michonne piped up for the first time that evening after having listened intensely at the conversation.

Everyone stoppered talking and looked over at Michonne.  
“There's this place called the kingdom,” Jesus began after a while.  
“They have people. They might want to help.”

“Why am I hearing this just now?” Maggie asked him.

“I didn't think we would actually go to war.” He answered her.  
“I'm really sorry for not telling you.  
But we could go there together and talk to their leader.”

“What if he refuses to help?” Sasha asked sharply.

“He won't. I'm sure he'll help, but if he doesn't, well then we just have to convince him.” He said, giving her a reaching smile.

“We can ask the people living here too, and we have some skilled fighters back in Alexandria!” Maggie said.  
“Aaron, Eric, Gabriel and Tara to name a few.”

“Most of the people living here knows little to nothing at all about fighting.” Jesus said.

“So we'll train them!” Michonne interrupted.

“That might work.” Rick said looking up at Jesus, still standing behind him.

Jesus nodded slowly, and took a deep breath.  
“It might.” He said then.  
“We have another problem though.”

All eyes in the room were looking at the scout, waiting for him to continue.

“It's almost been a week since the saviors last visit. They'd changed visit schedule for us to every other week this time because of Gregory's good behavior, but I'm thinking if he pays us a surprise visit. He knows that Daryl's missing and I know he will look for him when he gets here. We need to find a place for him to hide when they get here.”

The room went silent. No doubt everyone had thought about it, but none of them had any idea what to do.

“Do you guys have any place where he could hide?” Maggie asked.

“I don't think so. When I hid you guys Simon didn't know we were hiding people and had no reason to look for anyone. This time he does.”

“How about you guys sneak out and hide somewhere in the woods?” Rick pitched in.

Jesus got a thoughtful look on his face.  
“That could work.” He said looking over at Daryl.  
“Depending on the amount of saviors coming with them of course, but that might actually work.”

The rest of the meeting were loud. All five of the people were talking louder than the other.  
Daryl watched from the doorway without pitching in, mostly because he didn't have anything to say.

In the end they all agreed on that they needed more people, and Jesus had agreed to send the word out to the people living in Hilltop, telling them that he would train them personally in combat, and Sasha told them that she would learn them how to shoot.

They had also agreed on that they should keep their training as much of a secret as possible to not alert Gregory about their plans.  
Jesus also told them that he would try and plan for them to make a visit at the kingdom in a few days.

When everything was settled they all got up and walked out.  
Sasha was scheduled for the night watch, Rick and Michonne walked back at the house to get a few hours of sleep and Maggie walked off to find Enid.

Jesus walked over to Daryl.  
“You were very quiet tonight.” He murmured.

“Didn't have anything to say.” He answered, kicking away some dirt on the floor with his boot.

“Did you agree with anything?” Jesus asked, leaning against the wall.

Daryl looked up at him with narrowed eyes.  
“Yea, if I didn't I would've said something. We do need more fighters before we try anythin’.” He said.

Jesus flashed him a smile.  
“Good!”

They fell silent for a wile. Jesus kept on eyeing the older man, making Daryl feel a little nervous. He cleared his throat and thought about walking back to the house himself when Jesus shifted beside him and began talking.

“Do you want to hang out with me for a while?”

Daryl looked up at him again in confusion, not really sure what he should answer to that.

“I mean, you don't have to. But I'm not tired enough to sleep, and I'm sure I've read every single book in that library. So if you don’t have anything else to do, it would be fun if you would stay here with me.”

Daryl though about it for a while. He was tired, but he didn't feel like going to sleep just yet.  
And hanging out with Jesus did sound more enthralling than walking around the Hilltop for the billionth time that week or looking into a wall.

“Yea sure.” He answered.

“Great!” Jesus exclaimed.  
He walked over to the small sofa in the corner of the room, and waved at Daryl to join him.

Daryl watched him walk over to the sofa for a few heartbeats before he could make his legs work and followed after him.  
Jesus sat down with a small huff, Daryl plopped down beside him with a sigh. The sofa was big enough for both of them to sit comfortably enough but there was no space between them at all, their legs brushing together when either of them shifted and moved to get more comfortable.

“So, why didn't you say anything at the meeting?” Jesus asked after a few moments of silence.

Daryl stayed quiet for a few heartbeats, and then he shrugged and turned his head toward Jesus, meeting his eyes.  
“Didn't have anything to say. I already told you that.”

Jesus furrowed his brow and tilted his head a little.  
“Yeah I know, but come on Daryl, you've been a captive at that place. I'm sure you have plenty to tell. You know the place better than any of us.”

Daryl shrugged again and looked down at the floor, away from Jesus warm and curious eyes.  
He knew the scout were right. He did know the place well enough, well enough to find his way around there, he knew where most guards were on their brakes, he knew where Negans room was and he could most of their schedules.  
And despite knowing this, despite knowing Rick and the others knowing he knew this, he hadn't said anything during the meeting.  
He knew why though, and the reason for his silence was no other than him being uncomfortable talking about it right now. The things he'd been through at that place along with the oncoming nightmares he had made him not wanting to talk about it. He knew it was stupid. He knew he should at least tell Rick how to get in in order for them to take the tyrant down. But he couldn't. Not now, if was too fucking soon.

“You don't have to tell me.” Jesus told him in a hushed tone, apparently feeling or seeing the hunters apparent distress.  
“We can talk about something else.” He continued, leaning back on the sat down sofa.

“Like what?” The hunter grumbled, not really feeling like talking anymore, but he wasn't opposed to listening to the other man talking.

“Anything!” Jesus told him, voice still calm and hushed, like Daryl was a scared child that needed to be calmed down, which wasn't that far from how he was feeling at the moment.  
“Like… What school you went to growing up, what your friends were called, and what kind of hobbies you had. There's lots of things we can talk about.”

Daryl's gaze were trained at the dirty floor, eyes following the swirling patterns made by wet mud that had been smeared out before drying while he thought about Jesus questions.  
It wasn't like they were particularly hard, it was just that he didn't have any good answers to them.

“I didn't really have any friends growing up.” He sighed.  
“My brother was the closest thing to a friend, and he was a really shitty friend.”

He looked up from the muddy patters to Jesus and continued.  
“I dropped out of high school to help my brother out with my dad after my mom died. He thought me how to hunt and fish, he even thought me how to ride a bike. So I guess that answers all three of your questions.”

They fell into a rather tense silence. He couldn't read Jesus face at all, he just sat there with a blank face and looked at him.  
Daryl regretted telling him anything, he was convinced he had messed up this friendship even before it had started.  
He was just about to raise up from the sofa when he heard Jesus beginning to talk.

“I didn't really have any friends either actually. Not until I was in my last year of high school.”

Daryl froze. Jesus voice were a lot lower than before, and he could tell there was a deep sorrow laying behind the memories that were playing in the younger mans mind.

“Why?” Daryl asked before he could stop himself.

Jesus took a deep breath before he continued.  
“Kids are really mean, especially when you're different. I've always been kind of a lonely child. Sure I had a couple of fleeting friends when I was younger, but I never hung out with them after school or anything like that. But I was fine with it, I didn't want to have it in any other way.” He paused and gave Daryl a small smile which Daryl tried to answer with a smile of his own.  
“I started to notice that I didn't like girls when I was around twelve or thirteen. I had never really payed any particular attention to the girls in my class, but I think that the last nail in the coffin was when I started to notice that I was really interested in the boys in my class. Or, well, one particular boy.  
To make a really long story short, the boy I was interested in found out about it and he turned the whole school against me. He made up stories about me, told everybody that I had raped him and done all sorts of nasty things to him.”

Jesus paused again. His eyes shining with unshed tears from the unquestionably vivid memories he were living though at the moment.  
Daryl got the strange urge to hug him tightly and tell him that everything was going to be okey. But he didn't, because he knew just as well as Jesus did that you can't change the past. Whatever had happened in the past had already happened, the only thing you could do from there was to look forward, and hope that your memories won't devour you.

”I got beaten up a lot in school. The boy I had a crush on had a bunch of older friends that used to toss me around like a rag doll every chance they got.  
The teachers knew what they did, but choose to look the other way.  
I never told my mom about it either, I didn't want to burden her with my problems when she had enough of her own.  
I remember that I walked home one day and ran up to my room and just broke down crying! I couldn't take it anymore!  
After I calmed down I thought about my options. I could end it permanently and take my own life, or I could fight back!  
I choose to fight.  
The next day I asked my mom if I could take martial art classes for self defense and she just let me, no questions asked.”

Paul grew silent after that. His eyes had drifted throughout his story and were right now looking at nothing in particular in the darkened room.

Daryl was speechless. Never in a million years could he have thought that the good natured, happy and very talkative Jesus was carrying around dark memories like that.

“What happened after that?” He heard himself ask.

Jesus looked back at Daryl. He looked tired, like telling that story had drained him completely of all the energy he had.  
“I got my revenge.” He answered.  
“Once I got good enough at martial arts I floored the guy.”  
Jesus laughed humorlessly before he continued once more.  
“The funny thing is, after I kicked the bastards ass the teaches reacted. But I was the one that got in trouble.  
My mother transferred me to another school a few weeks later.”

Daryl and Jesus sat and looked in each other's eyes when Jesus ended the story.  
The atmosphere around them was kind of heavy, but not unpleasantly so.

“My family situation wasn't that great either.” Daryl blurted out after they had stared at each other for a few minutes.

“I know.” Jesus said.  
“That's why I was comfortable about telling you my story.”

Once again Daryl was speechless.  
“How…” He mustered out before Jesus interrupted him.

“I don't know any details or anything. But Rick said something about you having a rough time growing up before, and I've seen the scars on your back.  
And now when you told me about you and your brother taking care of your dad, I put two and two together.”

Daryl nodded at Jesus.  
“It was my dad.” Daryl murmured.  
“The scars. He… It's his work.” Daryl clarified when Jesus raised his brow questioningly.

“I'm sorry you had to go though that.” Jesus murmured.

“Thanks. And I'm sorry you had to go through… All that.” Daryl said.

Jesus smiled at him and put his hand on Daryl's.  
“Thanks.”

*  
~~  
_He was running again. The now familiar sound of shuffling feet and the sight of rotting arms grabbing at him like every night.  
He'd gotten used to it by now, he knew he was dreaming, and although the dream was indeed stressful, he knew what was going to happen by now._

_He followed the blinding light out of the dark corridor and ran out to the clearing.  
That was when he expected to see Negan and his friends lined up I front of him like they did every night._

_It didn't happen that way this time._

_The blinding lights went off like it used to do, but that's when everything changed._

_Negan was walking towards him dragging a person behind him with one hand and carrying Lucille with the other.  
The person was struggling profusely but failed to escape Negan’s iron grip._

_Negan walked up to him and threw the person on the ground like it was a bag of trash._  
The person scrambled up to his knees and looked from Negan to Daryl.  
That's when Daryl saw who it was!  
It was Jesus kneeling on the ground with tear streaked cheeks _looking terrified._  
Daryl swallowed hard and looked into Jesus big scared eyes and he could see that Jesus knew what was going to happen. He knew what Negan was going to do, and he knew that Daryl was powerless to stop him.

_Daryl felt something in his body break into pieces._  
_It hurt him more than anything to see Jesus like this.  
‘Please not him!’ He tried to scream at Negan, but nothing came out._

_“How many times do I need to teach you Daryl?!” Negan bellowed into his face._  
_“How many of your little friends do I need to kill to make you understand?!”_

_He took a step towards Jesus and raised Lucille into the air, ready to strike._

_Jesus were sniffling and looked pleadingly at Daryl._  
_Daryl couldn't take it! He dropped to his knees as his legs gave away underneath him.  
‘Please no! Please no! God please!!’ He tried desperately to get out, but still not a sound were leaving his lips._

_Negan looked down at him with a huge grin on his lips._  
“This is on you Daryl!”  
_And then he struck Jesus so hard on the head that he fell forward onto the ground._  
His beanie came flying off and landed on the ground a few feet away from them.

 _Jesus tried to rise up again, but he couldn't make his arms cooperate with him and fell down_ _on the ground again._  
“You have to learn!” Negan shouted and struck again and again.  
With one particularly hard strike Jesus was thrown to the side and Daryl got to see Jesus face.

 _His eyes were glossed over and empty and there were blood_ _coming out of his mouth, nose and eyes._  
Daryl couldn't look away. It was breaking him in two, but he couldn't look away from the man staring back at him with his dead eyes.

_Negan crunched beside him and leaned in to his ear and whispered:_  
_“Now look at what you've done.”_

~  
Daryl shot his eyes open and tried to sit up, but his body wouldn't move!  
It was like someone had replaced his flesh and bone with lid during the night.  
That's when he saw the arms coming out of the ceiling of his room. They were grabbing after him, the flesh were torn apart in some places and their nails were inhumanly long and sharp like claws.

There was something else emerging from the dark shadows behind the clawing arms.  
It started like a red mass, but then it started changing shape.  
Features started to appear and soon enough it started to look like a face.  
It formed eyes, a nose and a mouth.  
Long hair started to grow on top of the face and a beard grew out on the chin.

Daryl panicked when he saw that it was Jesus face that was forming on the ceiling.  
It opened it's mouth and a screeching yell of pure agony erupted from its mouth.

Daryl tried to scream in pure terror, but the only sound coming from his dry throat was a quiet wheezing.  
Daryl quickly shut his eyes from the terrifying vision and willed it to disappear.

He counted backwards from ten slowly and kept his eyes shut for a few more seconds after that. Then he could slowly feel his limbs starting to work with him again.  
When he opened his eyes again the image of Jesus screaming in agony was gone, and so were the clawed arms.

He sat up in the bed, desperately trying the regain control of his frantically beating heart.  
That's when he made up his mind. He would never sleep again!  
He couldn't go though that again, and if that meant that he would have to go through the rest of the – without a doubt – short time he had left on this earth without sleeping, he would do just that!

 


	2. Chapter Two

Time moved really slowly for Daryl. He hadn't slept for two nights and his body was starting to react to it.   
He moved slower and his head felt like it was filled with cotton.   
His ability to react was greatly effected by his lack of sleep, when something had been tossed to him before , his normal reaction would be to catch it in mid air. Now he couldn't catch anything that anyone were tossing him and he would drop things he was holding because of a strange sensation of stiffness had affected his hands.

He had no idea how he'd managed to keep his sleeplessness away from his family and friends.   
He knew they knew that something was up, they were smart people.   
But most of them kept their distance and left him alone like they always did, trusting Daryl to come to them when he needed to.   
Jesus was the only one who had been pressing him a little, asking him if he were alright and telling him that he looked tired.  
Daryl just waved his concerns of, telling him that he was fine and he should stop worrying.   
He could tell that Jesus wasn't buying any of it, but he was relieved when he dropped it nevertheless.   
He hated having to lie, especially to Jesus.  
But he couldn't tell anyone the truth. He had no idea how he would even begin to explain what he was going through.

The image of Negan bashing Jesus over the head with the barbed bat flashed through his mind. His empty eyes when he were laying motionless on the ground and the most horrifying imagine of all - Jesus head on his ceiling, crying out in pure agony.  
No, he couldn't tell anybody about that. Especially not Jesus.

*

The passing days Daryl kept himself busy with whatever work he could find or was handed to him by Jesus.   
It was mostly some sort of easy labor, like gardening or gutting various game.   
The work was mind numbing but it didn't bother him at all.  
On the contrary he embraced any form of labor that shut his brain off. It was like sleeping while awake!

The nights were trickier. Most nights he hung around the library or paced around the Hilltop. One night he even got a particularly tired guard to agree with letting him keep watch for the rest of the night.   
That night he had actually fallen asleep for a few minutes but woken up with a start as he'd heard a strange ringing inside his head.   
It had started out quietly but had gotten louder gradually.   
As soon as his eyes had shoot open the ringing had stopped.

It had gotten him to think about how Rick on the verge of insanity at the prison. When he had thought he'd gotten phone calls from the dead! An uneasy feeling had started to spread though his body.   
Was he going crazy?

*

On the sixth day and night without sleep Daryl started feeling really strange. He was disoriented and his head were spinning whenever he moved too fast. His arms and legs were loosing their strength as the numbing feeling that had started in his hands had spread throughout his limbs.

His family and friends had stepped up from their passive observations and began to question his health. He was deadly pale, the bags underneath his eyes had grown more visible due to the dark almost purple bruises were shading them.   
He were quickly loosing his already faltering appetite, and since he'd already lost a bunch of weight from when he were held captive at the sanctuary, Rick, Maggie and Michonne started questioning his obviously veining health.

Daryl tried to brush their concerns off and told them he was fine, too tired to even pretend to care about their worries.

“You're not fine Daryl! You look more dead on your feet than the rotters outside the wall!” Michonne stated bluntly.

Daryl shrugged and continued to poke around in his food with the fork.

“And you're not eating! What's up with that?! If you keep that up you will end up like a walking skeleton.” She continued, desperately trying to get a reaction from the hunter.

“I won't. I'm just not hungry.” He mumbled, not meeting her gaze.

She and Rick shared a worried look and then looked over at Jesus.   
Jesus shook his head, clearly just as worried as his family was.

“Look, stop this!” Daryl snapped, dropping the fork in his plate with untouched food.

“Stop what?” Rick asked, furrowing his brows.

“Stop worrying about me! I can take care of m’self!” He growled, getting up from the chair and strode away from his worried friends.

He was acting childish, he knew that. They cared about him and wanted to help, he knew that too. But he didn’t want to come to them with his mental-case problems. A big part of him was afraid they would turn him away if they knew just how screwed up he'd become.   
No, he could take care of himself.

*  
He had walked up to the library after his outburst with Michonne and busied himself with reading a book he actually found mildly interesting. He'd been reading it for several hours and his eyes were getting tired and blurry, making it hard for him to read.

He sat the book down beside him on the sofa and rubbed his tired eyes with the back of his hands.  
It was getting harder and harder for him to stay awake, but he didn't dare to try and go to sleep. He couldn't go trough with the nightmares and the strange paralyzed hallucinations!

He was just about to pick the book up again and continue reading when he heard the sound of a book falling to the floor coming from behind the large bookshelf in the middle of the room.   
He got up from the sofa and walked over to check it out, only to discover that nothing had fallen to the floor at all! All the books lined up neatly in the shelves.

“You're hearing things Dixon.” He said out loud to himself, and turned around to walk back to the sofa and his book.

He took one step forward and halted.   
His eyes were fixed to the entrance of the library, where he could see - clear as day - the vision of Glenn standing and watching him.   
His skin was pale, waxed like and cracked. His eyes were pitch black and sunken in. His nails were long, black and crooked like claws.   
Daryl couldn't move a muscle, he just stared at the horrified vision of his former friend.

Suddenly Glenn started to move towards him from his place by the entrance. He made the whole distance in just three steps and stopped right in front of him.   
Daryl still rooted in place in fright could just watch!  
He was just about to speak when Glenn opened his mouth wide and let out a high pitched screeching sound.

Daryl heard the entrance door open just as Glenn reached out for him with his clawed hands, and Jesus walked in.   
His eyes landed on the terrified Daryl by the large bookshelf.

Daryl managed to get his mouth to work somehow and shouted at Jesus to help him.

Jesus raised an eyebrow in confusion.   
“Help you with what?” He asked.

“With him!” Daryl shouted and pointed at Glenn who was still standing right in front of him stock still with his hands outstretched.

Jesus moved over to Daryl with brows furrowed in confusion and walked straight through Glenn. When Jesus did that the image of Glenn dissolved into thin air.   
“Daryl.” Jesus said, searching Daryl's eyes with his own.  
“There's nobody here but you and me.”

Daryl looked up at Jesus with his bloodshot eyes and almost broke down crying. Both of relief and of the realization of that he might be going completely insane.

“Daryl? Are you sure you're alright?” Jesus asked him.

“No.” He said, shaking his head.

“What's going on?” He asked, voice filled with genuine concern.

Daryl hesitated for a few seconds, but figures he might as well tell him given he'd already asked Jesus to help him with an invisible Glenn just a few seconds ago.  
Daryl took a deep breath and told him everything.  
He told him about the nightmares and about how he sometimes got paralyzed after he woke up and saw hands coming out from the ceiling.   
He told him about how he'd decided to not sleep again when he felt like he couldn't take it anymore. He chose to not tell him about the dream he'd have about Jesus, mainly because he felt weird about it.

Jesus nodded when Daryl was done talking, grabbed him by the arm and lead him towards the sofa.

“Have you ever heard about something called sleep paralysis?” Jesus asked him as they both sat down on the sofa.   
Daryl shook his head and Jesus continued.   
“From what I've heard sleep paralysis occurs when your mind wakes up before your body does, and that's why you can't move. It's normal to hallucinate while you're in that state, just as you described.”

Daryl turned his head towards Jesus, his eyes narrowed to slits.  
“So you're telling me this is normal?!”

“No! Not at all!” Jesus assured, holding his hands out in surrender, trying to calm the aggravated man down.   
“I'm telling you it's normal to hallucinate during sleep paralysis, not that sleep paralysis is normal. Because it's not.”

Daryl seemed to accept his explanation and grunted in response then turned his head down again.

Jesus leaned in against him trying to get his attention again.   
When Daryl looked up at Jesus he looked really tired, which didn't come as a surprise. The hunters normally trained eyes had lost all sense of focus.

“And I'm guessing you've developed forced insomnia after that, and just as sleep paralysis, sleep deprivation can cause hallucinations. So I'm guessing that's your answer.”

Daryl sighed deeply and leaned back, relaxing his tensed body against the soft cushion.

“Is there a cure for this?” He asked.

“I don't know. Not about the paralysis at least. But for your sleep deprivation, sure! Go to sleep!”

“I can't do that!” The hunter almost shouted, his body going rigid.   
“I can't… I don't… No!”

Jesus grabbed Daryl by both of his arms, forcing him to look at him.   
“Daryl! Calm down! I get it, I wouldn't want to see what you're seeing every night. I can't even begin to understand how it must feel for you to have to relive that. But your body have to rest! You're slowly killing yourself. Lack of sleep can cause serious brain damage if you go long enough!”

Daryl stared on Jesus face, he was dead serious, not a trace of a lie could be spotted.

“Okay. I get it. It's just. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling scared and vulnerable.” Daryl confessed.

“I know.” Jesus said, letting go of the hunter and sat back down on the sofa.

“You know…” Jesus said after a moment of silence.  
“We could sleep in the same bed.”

Daryl gave him a strange look and Jesus held out a hand to silence him.   
“Just hear me out before you say anything. Just think about it. I'm a really light sleeper. And if I hear that you have a nightmare, I can wake you up before it gets to bad!”

Daryl had to admit that the scouts idea wasn't half bad. And if it actually worked that would be great, even if the idea of them sharing a bed, even just for sleeping did strange things to his gut, things he couldn't explain, so he chose to ignore it.

“It's worth a shot.” Jesus pressed.

Daryl sighed in defeat. He turned his head towards the younger man and nodded.

*  
After they'd climbed into Daryl's bed, the older man found it difficult to relax enough to go to sleep, even though he was more exhausted than he'd ever been in his entire life, his time in the sanctuary included.   
He tossed and turned around in the bed, bumping into the man laying beside him every time he moved.

“Can't sleep?” Jesus asked him after he'd bumped into him with his knee for the twentieth time in ten minutes.

“No...” He sighed.

“I think it's because you think too much. You're all tensed up. Try to relax.” Jesus said turning around to face him in the narrow bed.

“Easy for you to say…” Daryl grumbled and turned his back at the scout.

“No, Daryl I'm serious.” He said, grabbing the hunter by his arm and turned him so he was laying on his back again.   
“Try to focus on your breathing, or on mine if you find that more helpful.”

Daryl though it sounded stupid, but figured he could try it anyway.

They both grew silent, the only thing that could be heard was their steady breathing.   
Daryl could actually feel himself relax little by little when he listened to the younger mans regular breaths.

“See, you're more relaxed already.” Was the last thing Daryl heard before he drifted off to sleep.   
  
~~  
 _He was running. Like he always did in the beginning of that horrible dream._  
The hands through the wall was grabbing at him, just waiting for a chance to get to him. He heard the footsteps behind him, the echo of them were bouncing of the walls.   
He saw the blinding light at the end of the corridor and ran to it, a lump of nervousness in his gut for what will happen when he would reach it.

_He broke trough the light and reached the clearing as usual._  
He saw his family kneeling on the ground in front of Negan, but this time he was kneeling on the ground with them.   
Negan was talking to Rick, but he couldn't make out what they were saying.   
Then he started moving down the line, swinging Lucille back and front while he looked at Daryl with that sickening grin on his face.

_He stopped in front of Daryl and held out the barbed bat to his head._  
Daryl turned his head away and looked at his family.   
They were all looking back at him with tears streaming down their faces. Rick nodded at him and Daryl looked up at Negan again.

_“You brought this on yourself.” He growled and swung the bat hard against his head._

_Daryl felt the bat collide with his head, a blinding pain erupted as he could feel the scull crack open and the blood starting to stream down his face and neck.  
His vision got blurred over, and black and white spots started to dance in the corners of his eyes. The only thing he could think as he saw the blurred vision of Negan raise his bar again for a second blow was ‘I deserve this’_

_As Negan hit him for the second time he could hear someone call his name. It sounded frantic and got louder and louder every time, almost deafening him.  
Then earth started to shake around him and he felt himself slipping away_.

~~

  
Ha wakes up to Jesus shouting his name in his ear and shakes him frantically.   
Daryl sits up in panic, his head throbbing and his sweaty clothes sticking to his body like a second skin.   
He breathed fast, almost on the verge of hyperventilating. He felt Jesus stroking his sweaty bangs out of his eyes and started rubbing his back in a soothing manner.   
Daryl felt himself fall into the other mans touch, the contact just felt so good and he couldn't help himself!

Jesus snaked his arms around the trembling man and Daryl collapsed into the other mans embrace.   
Jesus continued to stroke Daryl's back and whisper soothing words into his hair.   
Daryl relaxed into the other man and finally let himself go and broke down crying into Jesus chest.

*  
After Daryl calmed down form his emotional breakdown he felt completely drained and fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow with Jesus still stroking his back soothingly.

When he woke up the next morning he found him and Jesus laying close to each other, legs tangled and Jesus arm resting around Daryl's midsection casually.

He untangled himself carefully not to disturb the sleeping man up and walked out of the room towards the bathroom, desperately wanting to get out of his sweaty clothes and craving a shower.   
He stepped into the only bathroom with working plumbing - thanks to the rain collector strapped outside the window. The water wasn't hot, but he was used to clean himself off in a freezing lake so he wasn't one to complain about the temperature.

He shed his clothes and stepped into the spray of cold water. It woke his body up from the few hours of peaceful sleep he'd had in weeks.   
His mind wondered back to what had happened after Jesus had woken him up from the nightmare, how the other man had managed to calm him down so fast was a mystery, but he'd done it!   
Daryl had felt a sensation of peace and comfort in the younger mans embrace he'd only felt from Carol before.   
He'd felt so comfortable with the other man that even after he'd broken down and cried like a little child he hadn't felt ashamed about it, because he knew deep inside that Jesus wouldn't judge him for it, he wouldn't think less of him because of his emotions.

He turned off the spray of water and stepped out of the shower. He grabbed a towel from the rack and began to dry himself.   
He cursed under his breath for forgetting to bring clean clothes with him, but it was still pretty early and he hoped most of the people living inside the big house were still asleep or already wandered outside.   
He wound the towel around his hips and walked back towards his room.

*

When he got back to his room he was greeted by an newly awake Jesus sitting on his bed.

“Hey!” He said with a big yawn.  
“I was just wondering where you'd wandered off to.”

“I just had to take a shower, felt a bit disgustin’.” He said and walked over to a chair in the corner of the room where his spare clothes were laid up.   
“Didn't wanted to wake ya up. Feel a little bad for keeping ya up all night.”

Daryl turned his back at Jesus and started to put on his clothes, not even bothering to hide the scars on his back. He tried to ignore the slight tingle he felt on his body when he could feel the other mans eyes on him.

“Don't feel bad.” He heard Jesus say.  
“I did tell you I would wake you up if I needed to. I knew it could happen. I really want to help you Daryl.”

Daryl zipped his jeans and pulled on his shirt then turned to face the younger man.   
His face were open and honest when he looked up at the hunter and he immediately relaxed.

“How are you feeling?” Jesus asked him.  
“Did you sleep okay the second time?”

Daryl felt a slight blush creeping up on his cheeks when he thought about how he'd actually slept, all tangled up into the other man and just nodded as an answer.

“Good!” He said, smiling brightly.   
“We can continue doing this if you'd like? Just to help you out of course!” He explained quickly.

Daryl felt himself blushing even deeper at the thought of him and Jesus continuing sleeping in the same bed, and he could feel that strange feeling he couldn't explain erupting inside his guts again.

He swallowed thickly before he answered Jesus.

“Yeah, we can do that.”

*  
Daryl ran into Jesus later that day when he were on his way over to the gate for a hunt. He'd only been out once since dr Harlan had given him the green lights on putting more strain on it, mostly because of him not sleeping at all. He might be thick headed at times but even he knew that wandering outside the walls totally sleep deprived was suicidal.

“Hey! You're going out?” Jesus asked him, nodding at the ropes hanging from the hunters shoulder.

“Yea. I'm not needed elsewhere so I thought I could do that instead. To keep on pulling my weight around here.”

Jesus nodded and kept looking at the hunter, making him squirm a little under his intense gaze.

“Ya wanted somethin’?” He asked after a while.

“What?” Jesus asked, seemingly coming back to himself.   
“Oh, yeah! I wanted to tell you that I've been talking to Rick all day, and we've decided to make that trip to the kingdom tomorrow. I wanted to ask if you wanted to come with?”

“Yea! Count me in!” Daryl said without hesitation.

He thought the sound of getting out of the gates of hilltop sounded fantastic! It was not that he didn't like being at hilltop, because he did, he liked the people and the colony really much. But he really didn't mind to broaden his surroundings at all!   
The other thing that had made him not having to even consider his answer was that the mere thought of having to spend time away from the younger man made him feel uneasy for some reason.

“Great!” Jesus said, smiling broadly at him.   
“I'll let Rick know that you're joining us!”

Jesus began to walk towards the Barrington house and turned halfway around to wave goodbye at the other man.   
Daryl just shook his head and chuckled at the younger mans antics.   
When he watched as Jesus turned away fully he continued his walk towards the gate.

*  
Jesus and Daryl were laying side by side on Jesus narrow bed.   
They'd been packing supplies for the journey for the kingdom all night. Jesus had started up with the packing once he'd gotten back from the meeting with Rick for the second time that day and Daryl had helped out when he'd gotten back from his trip in the woods.

Daryl had tired himself out quite a lot, not being used to walk outside the wall as much as he'd done today anymore.   
He was laying on his back on the bed, staring up at the dark ceiling, eyes beginning to grow heavier with each breath.   
He felt Jesus shift around beside him, Turing around to lay on his side instead with his face towards Daryl.   
He could feel the rough hairs of jesus beard touching his arm when he turned himself around in the narrow space.

He could feel Jesus eyes on him and turned his head around to look at the younger man beside him.   
They locked eyes and just stared deeply into each other's eyes.   
His vision had gotten used to the limited light provided by the pale moonlight from the window on the opposite wall, so he could see Jesus's face quite well.   
His nose, his pink full lips surrounded by the thick hairs of his full beard and neatly kept mustache and - what Daryl was going totally lost in right now - big green/blue eyes.

Daryl felt as if an invisible force was pulling him closer towards the younger man the more he looked into those clear eyes.   
He caught up with himself quickly and broke eye contact with the scout and looked back up at the ceiling again, more than a little freaked out by what he’d just had felt.

He heard Jesus clear his throat before he shifted to lay on his back again.

“Can I ask you something?” Jesus asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Sure.” Daryl answered, the previous tiredness he'd felt before had vanished.

“What happened between you and your dad?”

Of all the questions Jesus could've asked him, this was not one he'd expected. Whenever someone asked him something about his family his response would have been either to stay quiet and knock their lights out, or to growl that it was none of their business.   
But since Jesus had already opened up to him about his childhood and most of the difficult stuff he'd been through, he didn't feel the same protectiveness he'd usually felt of the subject.   
He trusted the younger man.

“I… What do ya wanna know?” He asked then.

Jesus turned around on his side, facing Daryl again and lifted his head up to rest on his arm so he could see Daryl's face better.   
“I don't know… How was he? Did he always… Hurt… You? Was there any good days?”

Daryl though for a few minutes before answering. Was there any good days? They hadn't all been bad had they?

“I'm not sure about the bad and good days. My good days were when he either was too drunk to get up from his chair to do anything or when Merle was around.”

“Merle? That's your brother right?” Jesus interrupted.

“Yea! He used to protect me from dad. Took the blows or took me away from there a while. Whatever he could do. He wasn't around too much in the end though.” Daryl said and paused.   
His mouth had gone dry, he wasn't used to talk about his past. He wasn't even used to think about his past, and now he was doing both!

He took a calming breath and tried to swallow through the dryness in his mouth.

“Dad passed away a few years before the turn. Liver failure because of his constant drinking. Merle came home for the funeral and we stuck together from there.”

“Where's Merle now?” Paul asked softly.

Daryl looked up at Jesus face. He looked sad, like he was sorry because what he'd been through, he didn't look sympathetic or shocked like most used to do when they found out something about his past, no he looked genuinely sad.   
That almost made Daryl want to reach over and hug him, but thought better of it.

“He's dead.” He said and Jesus nodded in understanding.

“I'm sorry.” He said.

“Thanks.”

They fell silent and Jesus turned to lay on his back once again.

“What happened with ya? After ya transferred to the other school I mean?” Daryl asked, breaking the silence in the room.

“I kept my distance at first. I didn't speak to anyone for almost six months, and when I finally did I never got to personal. I was really careful and didn't trust anyone in the beginning.   
In my last year of high school I actually made a few friends, of one of them I actually hung out with after school.  
After I'd been spending time with my friend I gathered the courage to tell him that I was gay, and I steeled myself for what was going to happen. I thought he was going to run away or spit on me, but he just said ‘cool! I'm bi!’”

“A little anticlimactic, but better.” Daryl chuckled.   
Jesus laughed too and slapped Daryl playfully on the arm.

“A little maybe. But we actually ended up dating for the remaining time of high school. We split up during the summer before collage, he told me that he didn't believe in long distance relationships. But we remained friends for a few years.”

“What an ass.” Daryl scoffed.

“We were kids! We weren't even that serious.” Jesus laughed.

“Still.” Daryl said and yawned shortly afterwards.

“Tired?” Jesus asked him then.   
Daryl just hummed in response, his eyes having been closed for the last portion of Jesus story and was almost half asleep already.

“Let's sleep then.” He said and shifted around in the bed aging, trying to get more comfortable in the small space.

“Good night Daryl.” He faintly heard Jesus mumble before he fell asleep.

*  
Daryl woke up in panic at the sound of Jesus screaming his name.   
He looked around in the room, feeling lost and confused, not really knowing where he was.   
He could still see the flashes of the nightmare playing on a loop in his mind, like an old movie.

Jesus were whispering calming words into his ear and were rocking him slightly back and forth, trying to calm him back down and hunt away the remaining terrors of the nightmare.

As Daryl slowly started to regain his beings again he clung on to Jesus for dear life.   
He clutched at his shirt, never wanting to let him go ever again.   
Jesus tilted Daryl backwards slowly onto the bed and laid down beside him.   
Daryl shuffled as close as he could to the younger man, nuzzling his head into the crock of his neck.   
Jesus snaked his arms around the hunter and the last thing he heard before he fell asleep again was Jesus humming softly into his hair.

*

They started packing their supplies into the RV right after breakfast.   
Rick took the seat behind the wheels and waited for everyone to get on before he started the engine.

“Are you sure this won't break down before we reach the kingdom?” Rick asked Jesus referring to the RV.

“I think she'll hold. They've made a really good job at fixing her up so don't worry.” Paul said patting Rick on the shoulder and walked to the back of the RV sitting himself down by the window in front of Daryl.

Sasha and Maggie sat down by the other window with Carl and Enid, and Michonne stayed in the front with Rick.   
Once everyone had gotten and taken a seat, Rick started the RV with a loud roar of the engine that made Daryl jump a little in his seat.   
He'd been lost in his own thoughts since he sat down.   
Thinking about the past nights he'd shared the bed with Jesus.  
How vulnerable he'd felt but how good the other man had been to him in that state.

It was something with the scout that made him feel safe.   
He didn't know why, but the feeling had grown ever stronger since the other night. How he'd started to rock him slightly and hummed softly to him.   
Daryl felt embarrassed about how he'd behaved, sure, but he knew deep inside that the scout didn't think he had anything to feel ashamed about, that he understood.   
And that made him feel even more for him.

The RV started to move forward slowly, giving some time for Kal who had watch on the wall to run down and open the gate.

As they were passing through, Jesus raised his hand to the man standing outside the moving vehicle as of bid him goodbye, earning a curt nod and a smile from the man.   
He then started to walk after the RV had passed through to close the wooden gate behind them.

“What can you tell us about the kingdoms leader?” Came Ricks voice from the front.

Daryl perked up at the question, training his eyes at the man in front of him.   
Paul sighed and turned in his seat, looking at the people sitting around him before he started talking.

“Well… He's a bit odd I presume. He is a skilled fighter from what I've heard, many of his people think very high about him and he takes very good care about his kingdom.”

“Why is it called the kingdom?” Daryl cut in.   
Jesus turned to look at the hunter, a smile tugging in the corners of his full lips.   
“I think it's because he calls himself king Ezekiel, but I'm not sure what came first.”

Daryl snorted and looked out the window.   
He couldn't believe what the world was coming to. Aside from the roamers walking around, It was filled with cannibals, crazy governors, a human Wolfpack, a psycho with a bat, and now a – for what he thought – crazy self proclaimed king.   
The new world just kept getting better and better!

“And there's another thing!”  
Jesus said then, drawing Daryl's attention back to the younger man.   
“But I think it's better for you to see it with your own eyes instead of me telling you about it.”

*

Rick parked the RV close to the large gates inside of the kingdom and the company exited the vehicle one by one.   
The man that had let them through had gotten down from his post and walked over to them and greeted them.

“Welcome to the kingdom!”   
He said to the people in front of him. Then he turned his head to look over at Jesus and added.  
“Good to see you again Jesus. It's been a long time.”

Jesus smiled at the man and walked over to give him a one armed hug and patted him on the back in a friendly manner.

“Good to see you too Gary! It really has hasn't it?!”

Even though Daryl could see that it was a friendly hug, and that he had no business with Jesus relations at all, he couldn't help feeling a slight pang of jealousy stirring up in his chest.   
The whole ordeal made him even more confused about his weird feelings for the younger man than before!   
What the hell was going on with him?!   
Him and Jesus were friends and friends only!   
They had been getting closer now than before, sure! But they were still just friends!   
And here he was getting all worked up over a hug!

He drew in a calming breath and fished his batted up pack of cigarettes out and lit one up, letting the familiar taste of smoke and nicotine calm him down.

“It really has! It's really good to see you.”   
Gary said as he and Jesus stepped away from each other.   
He looked from Jesus over at Rick again.  
“So. What brings you here mr…?”

“Grimes. Rick Grimes.”   
Rick said, stepping forward to shake Gary's hand, which he accepted.   
“And we're here to talk to Ezekiel. Jesus said he might be willing to help us out with some… Problems we're having.”

Gary furrowed his brows and glanced over at Jesus who just nodded and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Alright!” Gary said, looking at Rick again.   
“I'll show you to him.”

Gary turned around and started to walk further into the flourishing city.   
There were people walking around and working on various tasks, only stopping what they were doing to look at the strangers walking behind Gary in a line.

Daryl felt their curious glances at him and it made him itch for another cigarette quite badly, but since he only had two left he pushed down the urge, deciding to save them for when it was really bad. He could handle if for now.

Daryl's eyes wandered over at Jesus who was walking next to Gary, chatting away about what had happen since the last time he'd visited.   
He noticed how their shoulders brushed together as they walked and they made the jealous feeling from before flare up again.   
He let out a quiet snarl and looked away, frustrated about his crazy emotions running wild with him.

“It will be fine.” He heard Maggie say behind him.   
He turned his head towards her, brows furrowed in confusion.   
“The meeting.” She clarified, mistaking his stupid jealousy for anxiety for the meeting.   
“I have a good feeling about this.”

Daryl nodded before he ducked his head down slightly, messy strands of hair falling over his eyes.  
“Hope yer right.” He said to her.

*

Daryl had seen a lot of weird stuff in his time, even before the dead decided it was a good idea to rise up and walk again.   
But nothing could've prepared him to the scene before him!

“It's a fucking tiger!” He bellowed over the otherwise quiet room, making said tiger flinch and roar at him.

He felt a hand land on his shoulder and he turned his head to find Jesus standing beside him grinning from ear to ear while he looked at the feline next to a guy with long dreadlocks who had introduced himself as king Ezekiel.

“Yes.” Jesus said, glancing at Daryl.   
“It's a fucking tiger.”

“This is Shiva.” The King said, petting the now railed up feline behind one of her large ears, earning a loud purring sound from her as she started to relax and laid down on the floor next to her master.

“She's quite wary of strangers, but she'll come around eventually.” He assured them, glancing out in the room filled with strangers.  
“I heard you wanted to speak with me about a problem.” He said.   
“I'm all ears.”

Rick started to walk forward slowly with Michonne close behind him, stopping close to the low stage where the king were seated in what looked like a throne.

“We have come here hoping for your help. We need an army.” Rick said cutting straight to the case.

“What for?” The King asked slowly.  
Daryl didn't miss the way he leaned forward in apparent interest.

“We're preparing for war against Negan.”   
The Kings eyebrows flew up to his hairline just as soon as Rick uttered that name, that’s when Daryl knew, the King knew who they were talking about.   
“We have some skilled fighters, and we're training those who aren't. But we need more people. We need an army!   
And Jesus told me you have a lot of skilled people.”

The King looked over at Jesus when his name was mentioned and Daryl could feel him tensing up beside him.   
Daryl resisted the urge to take his hand in his, and shoved his hand down into his back pocket instead, toying slightly with the lighter he had there.

“I want you to join us.” Rick continued, earning back the Kings attention.   
“I want us to work together, because then I know we at least have a chance.”

The King leaned back into his chair, scratching his beard absently.   
Then he leaned forward again, fixing his gaze at the people in front of him.   
“I must think about this before I can give you an answer.” He began. Rick opened his mouth, but the King raised his hand to silence him before he uttered a word.   
“I will give you an answer, in the morning. Let me sleep on it... Rick was it?” Rick nodded at the question about his name.   
“Well Rick, you must understand that it's a lot you're asking of me. The safety of me and my people.   
So I will sleep on this and you will have your answer in the morning!”

The King rose up from his throne, Shiva doing the same and went to stand right beside him.   
“In the meantime, I would like you to feast with us! Gary and Stuart will show you were you'll sleep tonight and show you to our dining place!”   
Then with a slight curt nod the King walked off the stage, tiger in tow.

Daryl looked over at Jesus and then to his family who looked at each other in slight confusion, eyes saying “what the hell did just happen?”   
And Daryl thought the same.  
What the hell _DID_ just happen?!

*  
After the odd meeting they followed Gary and Stuart to one of the larger houses in the community, it had some rooms in it that was empty for their use.

“We're kind of crowded so I'm sorry, but you'll have to share rooms.” Stuart said with an apologetic glance at the group, when he showed them the three rooms.

“I'm sure we'll manage.” Maggie told him with a smile, which he answered with a smile of his own.

“Dinner will be served in a few hours at the common dining area.   
We'll come get you when dinners ready” Gary said.

Gary and Stuart walked off, letting the group organize themselves in their rooms.

“Looks like there's nothing but king sized beds in the rooms.”   
Rick said when he'd looked inside.   
“Which means we all have to share beds.”

“Me and Sasha can take this one with Enid.”   
Maggie said, pointing at the room closest to the stairs.

“Right! Me, Michonne and Carl can take the one beside yours.” Rick said and then he looked at Daryl and Jesus.   
“Will you be alright sharing rooms?”

Daryl shrugged looking down at the floor, secretly feeling at ease for how it all had played out.   
“We'll manage.” He said glancing over at Jesus standing beside him.

“I think we will.” Jesus agreed.

“Good!” Rick said looking pleased.  
“Let's get some rest before dinner then.”

Daryl watched as his family walked into their separate rooms, leaving him and Jesus in the hall by themselves.

“You wanna rest?” Jesus asked him with a slight tilt of his head.

“Nah. Think I will go outside, n’ check the place out.” He said, raising his hand to his mouth, gnawing at the skin of his thumb.

“You want me to go with you?”

“Won't stop ya.” Daryl answered and started to walk to the exit.   
Jesus fell into a step behind him.   
“Not like I have anything better to do.”  
He said with a grin.

*  
The Kingdom looked like a small village with a huge wall around it.   
They had a flourishing gardens that had made Herschel envious, completed with fruit trees of various kinds.  
  
There lived a lot of people but the place was big enough not to get crowded.   
There were guards walking the streets and watching the huge walls, no doubt working as a form of police force.   
The King might be odd but Daryl had to admit he had done good.

Him and Paul were walking towards what looked like a pottery workplace when he saw a woman picking up pots from the ground and carried them over to a shelf behind her.   
He froze in mid-step, almost making Paul walk straight into him.

“Daryl?” Jesus said looking at him.

He would recognize that shot gray set of hair and calm face everywhere!  
He couldn't believe his eyes and blinked once to make sure he wasn't hallucinating again, but much to his relief she was still there when he opened his eyes again.

“Carol!” He called, making the woman turn around at the sound of her name.

She froze and dropped the pots she was holding when she laid eyes on him, just as shocked to see him as he was to see her.

“Daryl?” She said, and started running towards him.   
He got his limbs to work as well when he saw her moving towards him and they met halfway in a warm embrace.

“What are you doing here?” He heard her ask against his shoulder.

“Came here with Rick and a few others to meet Ezekiel.” He answered.   
“What are ya doing here?”   
He asked her back.

“It's a long story.” She said pushing herself out slightly from the hug to look at him.

“I've got time.” He said.   
She nodded and stroked some strands of hair away from his eyes.

“Alright, come with me. I know a place where we can talk in private.” She said pulling away completely.

Daryl turned around to tell Paul he was going with Carol only to find him walking back at the house they were staying at, with slightly slumped shoulders.   
He got the urge to run after him and ask him what was wrong, but he really wanted to talk to Carol since he hadn't seen her since before he was taken away by Negan.

“Daryl? What's wrong?” Carol asked, sounding concerned.

“Nothing.” He answered, figuring he could talk to Paul after.

Carol didn't look convinced but nodded nevertheless, and they started to walk towards the main gate.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that chapter!   
> The next update may take a little bit longer than this one.   
> Mostly because it's not finished yet, but I'm working on it. 
> 
> I have been trying out for a new job and that had taken all my time from writing, as some things do.   
> So I'm sorry in advance!


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better late than never?   
> I'm sorry for the delay, but I had a friend over last week that I hadn't seen in a year and then I had to work. I work evenings and nights, which is usually the time when I write... So yeah! Good times! 
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter than the previous ones. I'm sorry for that, but I couldn't find a better break actually. 
> 
> I really hope you'll enjoy this chapter!   
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated. :)

He followed Carol to a small house located a good distance away from the city.   
It looked like someone had been living in it recently and Daryl made a mental note to ask her about it later.  
Carol walked over to the sofa in the small but cozy living room and sat down.   
She patted the space next to her, inviting Daryl to sit down beside her.   
Daryl chuckled, walked over to her and sat down.

“What have ya been up to?”   
Daryl asked, breaking the tensed silence that had settled around them since they had left the kingdom.   
Carol had been lost in her own thoughts and Daryl had been thinking about Paul, a part of him still wanted to turn around and find him, to ask if he'd done something wrong.

He shook his head free of those thoughts when he heard Carol talk.   
“I've been here I guess. I left to be alone, but Morgan didn't let me…”

“Morgan's here too?” Daryl cut in.  
“Haven't seen him.”

“Yes he is. He's with the scavenging crew. They've been away for a few days, so I'm guessing they should be back any day now.”

Daryl nodded.   
“So he followed ya. How did ya end up here?” He asked.   
Carol laughed, making Daryl jump a little by the suddenness of the laughter.

“Sorry.” She said, patting him on the shoulder.  
“It's a funny story actually. As Morgan was very persistent about me coming back to you, I was very persistent about getting away. I ended up hurt pretty badly, and Morgan saved my life.   
Guards from the Kingdom found us and took us in, patched me up again.”   
She said, with a sigh.  
“And we've been here since.”

He could tell she was leaving some parts out, but he didn't want to press her about it. He knew she would tell him eventually, if she felt like it was important enough.   
He had done the same in the past, and she had understood, just like he did now.

“Do ya like it here?” He asked instead, looking directly at her for the first time since they sat down.

“I do.” She said, looking up and met his gaze.   
She had a small smile on her thin lips and she looked more relaxed than he'd seen her for ages. She looked younger, the light were back in her eyes, a light that had been gone long before they'd found Alexandria, a light that had gone out when the prison had.   
Something or someone in this place had brought it back to her, and he was happy for her, even it it meant that they would have to be apart, he'd live.

“Good.” He said with a curt nod, trying to give her a smile of his own.

“Yeah.” She breathed.   
“What have you been up to? Why are you here?”

He drew in a deep calming breath before he began telling the story, the full story, not leaving anything out.   
He told her about the saviors, about Negan.   
He told her about Abraham and Glenn, how he felt responsible for his death, how he could've stopped it for happening.

He told her about the sanctuary and his time there, how he was tortured, how he was forced to eat dog food and witness others getting tortured.   
He told her about how he got out and that he had a feeling Paul had played a part in it, even if the younger man hadn't said anything about it.

When he was done telling her everything that had happen he felt drained, but it felt good at the same time, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders he hadn't known were weighing him down.

He could see tears shining in her eyes and he had to look away when he felt the familiar sting in his own.

They sat in silence after that, taking comfort in each other just by being close to one another, sitting there side by side on the small sofa.   
He wrapped a arm around her shoulders, pulling her closely towards him as her light body trembled as she cried for the loss of their friends.

“How is Maggie holding up? And the baby?”  
She asked when she finally calmed down, her hushed words sounded loud through the silence.

“As expected I guess. She mourns in her own way.” He answered, his voice just as hushed as hers.   
“The baby's fine too.”

“Is that why you're here? Because you need help?” She asked him out of the blue after a few more minutes of silence.

“Yea. We want to take em down. But we need more fighters.”

He heard her chuckle and turned his head to look at her questioningly.

“You know, the reason why I left in the first place was that I didn't want to fight anymore. I didn't want to kill more people, and I knew that I would have to do that in order to protect the ones I love.”   
She fell silent again, but Daryl understood, she didn't need to say anything more because he felt the same way.

*

Daryl and Carol walked back from the small house to the kingdom together.   
They didn't say much to each other on the way back, both of them perfectly comfortable in the silence between them. All that had been needed to be said had already been said, at least for now.

When they got to the common dining place all of Daryl's family was already sitting down by a huge table. The King was sitting by the short side of the table with an empty chair to his left, his pet tiger was nowhere to be seen.

“He leaves the tiger in his bedroom during dinner time.” Carol murmured in his ear as if she had read his thoughts, at why Daryl shoot her a confused glance.   
“You were looking for it.” She explained, with a slight laugh.   
“I'm going to sit over there” she said gesturing to the chair next to Ezekiel.   
“I'll talk to you later pooky.”

Daryl shook his head at the nickname and watched her walk away.   
He looked around and spotted a empty chair next to Jesus and walked over and sat down.   
The scout looked up and smiled at him, but Daryl noted that his smile didn't reach his eyes.   
Something was wrong, just like he thought.   
He was just about to ask him about it when Ezekiel called the attention of his guests by clinking a knife against his glass like in an old movie and stood up.

“I just wanted to take the opportunity to welcome our new friends to our great community properly, any friends of Carol and Jesus is my friends. You've also given me a lot to think about, and I do ashore you that I will present you with a proper answer after breakfast tomorrow!”   
He scanned the room as he raised his glass to the crowd of people.  
“Here's to new friends!” He said as the people followed and drank from their glasses. Daryl did the same, mostly because he thought it might be rude not to. He didn't want to offend the crazy King, especially not when he might hold the answer to bring Negan and his men down.

“Now! Let's feast!” The King stated as he sat down.

*

After dinner the group moved towards the rooms that had been given to them.   
Daryl walked next to a very quiet Jesus. He had been unnaturally quiet the whole evening, not even talking to any of the Kingdom people.   
It looked like he was in deep thought, and as much as Daryl wanted to ask him what was bothering him, he kept his mouth shut. He figured the younger man was going to talk to him when he wanted to.

When they reached their rooms everyone said their good nights and walked into their respective rooms.   
Jesus walked in first and just as Daryl closed the door the younger man spun around, facing Daryl with a determined expression on his face.

“You and Carol…” He began with a shaky voice.   
“Are you two a couple?”   
After he'd asked the question his face dropped down at the floor, like he couldn't look at Daryl.

Daryl was momentarily stunned by the question.   
Why did Jesus want to know that? Was it the reason that Jesus had been so quiet at dinner? Was it the reason he'd ran away when Daryl had hugged Carol? Was he jealous? If so, why was he jealous?

Jesus lifted his head up to look at Daryl, and Daryl noted that he had been quiet for a really long time.   
Picking himself together he shook his head with a rather disgusted facial expression at the thought of him and Carol being more than friends.

“No.” He said.   
“We're just friends. Really good friends, she's more like a sister than anything else.”

“Oh. Okay.” Jesus said, relaxing a bit at his answer.  
“It just looked like… I mean, it's not like I decide if… I'm sorry, I don't know what I thought.” He rambled.

“It's okay. It's not like she didn't try in the beginning, but I never had those feelings fer her.” Daryl felt the need to explain, he didn't know why, but it felt like he had to tell Jesus that.

Jesus looked more at ease now than he'd done after the meeting, even giving him a small smile which Daryl answered.

“We should get to bed.” The scout said then, walking over to the queen sized bed in the middle of the room and laid down on it still fully clothed.   
Daryl followed after him and laid down next to him.

“Rick told me after I got back that Carol had run away, only leaving a note.”   
He began telling Jesus after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“It's not like I could blame her fer doing it, and I get why she did it. But I guess I would've feel better if she'd said goodbye in person or somethin’.   
Even though I know she would've staid if I asked her to, which is why she ran without telling anyone.”

“I was so shocked at seeing her here, I was sure I would never see her again, and there she was!”

He felt Jesus shift beside him and turned his head to look at him.

“It's funny how things work out sometimes” The younger man stated.

“I guess.” The hunter breathed.

They fell silent after that, just kept looking into each other's eyes.   
And just as the night before he could feel that strong pull towards the other man, it scared him, but this time he accepted it.   
He could make out Jesus movements towards him, slowly closing the gap between them, pausing slightly with just a few inches between them so that Daryl would have time to pull away if he wanted to.

He didn't.   
He was still freaking out on the inside, but the pull towards the other man was just to strong.   
He closed the gap between them and the lingering fear just melted away as soon as he felt Paul's soft lips meet his own.

*  
Daryl woke up with a start at Jesus shouting his name.   
Daryl's heart were racing as he still felt the nightmare have him in it's claws.   
Jesus winded his arms around him tightly and whispered calming words into his ear.   
Even though he couldn't make out what Jesus was saying to him he found the mere sound of Jesus voice soothing and could feel the effect of the bad dream slip away little by little.

He could feel Jesus lips touch his temple when he'd calmed down in Jesus arms.   
“You're ok, it was just a nightmare.” He heard Jesus whisper against his face, the puffs of air from Jesus breath sending shivers though Daryl's body.

He turned his face up to be able to look Jesus in the eyes, and as he did that Jesus leaned in and captured Daryl mouth with his for the second time that night.   
Daryl froze up at first by the suddenness of it, but slowly relaxed into it as he could feel the younger man working his lips on his and kisses him back.

Daryl fell back onto the bed, pulling the smaller man on top of him, he grabbed hold of Paul's shirt and pulled him closer to him.   
He felt Jesus wind one hand into Daryl hair and the other one was placed on the side of his face.

When they finally came apart for air they were both breathing heavily and stared at each other with a huge smile on their faces.   
The last traces of Daryl's nightmare had been completely wiped away thanks to the man hovering above him.

They hugged each other tightly, Daryl breathing in the calming scent of Jesus shampoo.   
Jesus rolled off Daryl after a few heartbeats to lay next to him again.   
They cuddled up next to each other as they both fell asleep in each other's arms.

*

The next day the group met up outside of the kingdoms makeshift city hall and walked in together to meet up with the King.   
He was already sitting in his “throne” with Shiva by his side. The tiger grumbling in the back of her throat at the sight of them.

“Welcome friends!” Ezekiel said excitedly when they walked into the room.

“You promised us an answer, we need an answer.” Rick growled, not bothering with greeting the King.

Ezekiel looked amused more than annoyed at Ricks outburst, and stood up from his seat.   
“I did indeed.” He said and looked at the faces looking up at him.   
“I have thought long and hard at your suggestion, and I have even spoken with former allies of your community, and they spoke very fondly of you.”

“That's why I have decided to accept your proposal, and fight side by side with you.   
It have come to my beliefs that it will be as beneficial for my community as for yours if we take the tyrant out.”

The tension that had been building up in the room along with King Ezekiel’s speech dropped at his final statement and everybody in the room exhaled in relief.   
The King grinned down at them, making him look more crazy than before, but Daryl didn't care how crazy the guy looked, for all he knew the crazy son of a bitch could be the key to this mess.

*  
After the good news from Ezekiel the group decided to start packing up to leave for the Hilltop again.   
They arranged with the King to meet up at the Hilltop a week later and start to discuss tactics then, they thought both sides should have had enough training by then.

On his way to the sleep area he saw Carol standing and talking with Morgan.

“Y'all go ahead, I have ta do somethin’. I'll catch up with ya later.” He told Jesus before he started walking over to her.

“Can we talk?” He asked her, interrupting her and Morgan, but she didn't seem to mind.

“Of course pooky! In private?” She asked him.  
He just gave her a short nod of the head as an answer. She grabbed him by the hand and lead him away to what looked like a small office in the pottery.

“What's up?” She asked him, looking at him with a soft smile.

He knew what he wanted to tell her, but he had no idea where to begin.   
Mostly because he hadn't acknowledged most parts of the conversation in his head.

“I…” He began but stopped to clear his throat.   
“I've had troubles sleeping recently.” He continued.

“We all have troubles sleeping.” She chuckled.

“Yea, I know.” He said, feeling a little stupid about telling her that.   
“But I've had really bad problems with my sleep.”

“What do you mean?” She asked tilting her head to the side, scanning his face with her intense pale blue eyes.

He sighed, dragging his hands across his face before he began telling her what had been going on since he'd been rescued from the sanctuary.

He told her about the nightmares, how they changed night by night but always were the same.   
He told her about the sleep paralysis, and the hallucinations they created.   
He told her about the nightmare he'd had about Jesus and how he'd decided that he weren't going to sleep after that.   
He told her about the hallucination his sleep deprived brain had created about Glenn and how Jesus had found him.   
He even told her about how Jesus had made him to sleep in the same bed as him.

Once he was done telling the story her eyes were wide in shock and her hand raised to her mouth.

“Oh my. How are you feeling now?” She asked him.

“Confused.” He said, averting his eyes from her.

”What are you confused about?”

“About him I guess.” He said quietly, eyes glued to his hands that were pressed to his lap.   
He could really use a cigarette, but he doubted the other workers at the pottery would care for him to smoke in their workplace.   
And just as the thought had stroked him he remembered that he'd left the cigarettes in his and Jesus room.

“About who, Jesus? I'm not following you.” Carol said, furrowing her brows in. Confusion.

Daryl exhaled harshly between gritted teeth, and dropped his head in his hands.   
He'd never been good at telling anyone about his feelings before, and that part had most certainly not become any better since he'd become more broken since the turn.   
But he knew he had to tell someone about the strange feelings he'd developed for the odd bearded man, mostly because he needed to understand what he was feeling for him, and no one understood him better than Carol did. So it was a no brainier that he should tell her.   
But he didn't know how.

“Yea, him.” He grunted out between his hands.

“What about him? Why is he making you confused?”

“I was hoping you could tell me.” He said, dropping his hands from his face and looked over at her again finally.

“I need for you to make sense if I'm going to do that Daryl. All you've said so far is that you're sleeping in the same bed, which I agree, is confusing. But since you're still doing it I assume you're good with…” Carol’s eyes widened comically huge and she let out a small gasp as realization dawned on her.   
“You have feeling for him.” She said, voice so soft that he wouldn't have heard her if he hadn't read the words on her lips.

“I don't know what I feel.” He murmured, looking away from her again.   
“The nightmares have been getting more tolerable since we… And every now and then I get this strange tightening feeling in my chest, like I can't breathe when he's looking at me, and it's like I miss him when I'm not with him. I just…”  
He raked his fingers through his slightly greasy hair and groaned in frustration.

Carol leaned forward an put a hand on his shoulder, trying to soothe the tensed up man.   
“It sounds like you have developed some feelings for him, and I think that's great!   
You deserve to be happy.”

Daryl flinched when she said the last part, because he didn't think he deserved to be happy, not after what he'd done.

“I know that you don't think so, but you really do.” She finished, reading Daryl like an open book once again.

“What do I do?” He asked her.

“What do you feel like doing?” She asked him back.

He grew silent for a while, thinking about her question.   
Even if he was confused about his feelings, he did have a general idea about one thing.

“It feels right, with him. But I'm scared because it feels right.” He said softly, turning his head to face her again.

She gave him a soft smile and nodded.   
“Then I think you should wait and see how it turns out, let the feelings grow and try not to be scared of them.”

He nodded and leaned his head against her shoulder, embracing the comfort his friend was giving him.   
Maybe he should try to push the fear he had for his feelings away? what would happen if he did?   
He knew Jesus felt something for him, the way he'd kissed him told him that much.   
So what would happen if he stopped pushing his feelings away and acted on them instead?

*

When he parted with Carol he felt a little better but he was still confused.   
He'd never liked a guy before, not the way he liked Jesus.   
Hell, he'd never even liked a girl in the same way he felt for him!   
So yes, he was still confused, but he'd promised Carol to work on it, and he would.   
Mostly because he wanted to believe in Carol when she'd said that he deserved to be happy.

“You ready to go?” He head the voice of the man consuming his thoughts say behind him.   
Daryl drew in a sharp breath and spun around.

“The hell?! Can't sneak up on a man like that!” He scolded the younger man.

“Sorry, I thought you heard me. Didn't mean to scare you.” Jesus chuckled.   
“So? Are you ready? The rest of the guys are already by the RV loading stuff up. I think they're ready to go any minute now.”

Daryl nodded and willed the heard of butterflies that had erupted in his stomach just by watching the scout speak to him to calm down.

“Yea, was just saying goodbye ta Carol. Looks like she's staying here.” He said, sounding more bitter than he tended to.

“It's a shame. It's never easy to leave your family behind.” He said.

“Nah, but if she's happy here in not going ta make her leave just because of me. Couldn't do that ta her. She deserves all the happiness she can get.”

“You have a big heart there Dixon, I always knew you did.” The scout said and smiled at him.

Daryl could feel his face heat up by Jesus praising words and looked away from the man.   
“Thanks.” He murmured.

“You're more than welcome.”

“We better get going if we don't want ta be left here.” Daryl managed to get out.

He heard Jesus hum in agreement before both men started to walk towards the RV.

*

When the RV rolled through the gates of the Hilltop they were met with panic and despair.   
The community's residents were standing outside of the flaming and banged up trailers that they once had called their homes.

“What happened?” Jesus bellowed over the roaring flames once he jumped out of the haltering RV.

“Simon.” A woman in her mid 40s answered.   
“They came looking for the guy you fetched back from them, tore the whole place apart.” Even though she didn't show it, Daryl could hear the unmistakable sound of anger in her voice.   
He didn't knew if it was directed at him or the saviors, and he wasn't about to ask her either. It was most likely directed at both, her home had been burnt to scrap for his sake after all.

“Was anyone hurt?” Came Rick’s voice behind them.   
Daryl turned around and saw Rick and the rest of his family walking towards them, fear and anger clearly visible in all of their faces.

“No.” The woman said, shaking her head slowly.  
“They just made a game of destroying every house they'd searched through, laughing at us when we tried to stop them.”

Daryl looked around at the community. Most of the trailers had been put out and was salvageable, but others was too far gone. The flames had managed to destroy them beyond repair.

“We have to stop them Jesus.” The woman said, turning around to look directly at the bearded scout.   
“What if they come back and kills someone next time. We can't live like this!”   
The woman started to sound more and more frantic as she spoke, tears of anger and sadness rolling down her cheeks.

“I know Gertie.” Jesus said and pulled the frantic woman against him in a comforting hug.  
“We're working on it, I promise.”

Sasha, Maggie and Enid who had been walking around the place to look at the full extent of the damage while Carl and Rick was helping some of the other men kill the rest of the flames, were walking back towards Daryl and Paul.

“The good news are nobody's hurt.” Maggie said.  
“But the bad news is we have to reorganize the people into the house until we've rebuilt their houses. And that's going to take some time, time we don't have.”

Paul nodded at her, looking over at Daryl with rage in his eyes.   
Daryl broke eye contact to look over at the destroyed trailer in front of them.   
He couldn't understand what the saviors got out of making people homeless.   
What kind of sick fucks got off by scaring people to submission?

“This war can't come fast enough.” Daryl said more to himself.

“No, it can't.” He heard Paul agree, still holding the now more calmed down Gertie in his arms.

The war really couldn't get there fast enough, but they still needed to train their people to get them ready, and Negans men had successfully slowed that progress down.

*

After they had successfully put out all of the burning trailers and gone through the damage the saviors caused the colony, Rick called them for a meeting inside the only vacant room in the Barrington house.

“This will take days to repair, maybe even weeks! We won't be able to train the people here and get ready in time for the meet-up with the King!” Sasha said by her place on the floor.

“I know! But the main concern here is for us, all of us, to keep the people safe and that includes to make sure they have a place to stay!” Maggie argued.   
“That's our priority right now! To help the people here to get back on their feet!”

“We can take turns! That way it won't be as noticeable and Gregory won't notice that somethings up!” Jesus suggested.

“Could work.” Maggie agreed with him.  
“We can give it a shot.”

“Me and Michonne have to get back to Alexandria.” Rick said then in a stern voice.  
“Simon payed a visit here looking for Daryl, he could've just as easily turned Alexandria to shreds. We have to get back there and help out if that's the case, or at least warn them if they haven't been there yet.”

Jesus nodded in understanding and turned his head to Daryl who stood in the corner of the cramped room with his arms crossed tightly.

“When will you get back?” Daryl asked gruffly, not liking that he couldn't go there with them.

“I don't know. A few weeks maybe? We have to get our fighters ready too.” He answered.

Rick was right, Daryl knew he was.   
If Simon had been at Alexandria their people needed just as much help as the Hilltop did, but he didn't like the thought of his family separating, he wanted to go with them desperately. But he knew that the saviors had torched the place because of him, and if he were to go with them and they ran into the saviors he would feel even worse. Then it would feel like he'd given the torches to the saviors himself.   
No, he would stay put, help clean up the mess that was made because of him.

“We'll send someone for you later.” Maggie said to Rick.

“Alright. Good.” Daryl said, trying to mask the scowl that was threatened to break out on his face.  
“When will ya leave?”

“We'll leave tonight. We want to get there as fast as possible.” Michonne said.

*

Everything started to come together smoothly.   
They had managed to collect a good amount of fighters that was eager to learn how to fight.   
Paul had taken upon himself to learn out close up combat and Sasha was teaching them how to handle a knife properly – mostly because they didn't have any guns to use, all without Gregory catching on to them, and that was because Maggie had him busing about the rebuilding of the damaged trailers in the colony.   
Maggie was really the one doing all the planning and handing out all the work, but built up the illusion that it was all Gregory's idea, not deciding anything without coming to him first.   
It seemed to work too.

Most of the salvageable trailers had been repaired, the ones that had to be scrapped had been used as material for the ones in better shape.   
Kal had managed to dig up some new trailers in a nearby construction site a few days after the saviors visit, making the Barrington house less camped much to Daryl's delight.   
After the fire Daryl had to give his room up to two other families, leaving him and Jesus having to spend the last four nights sleeping in a cramped closet space, just big enough for a mattress to fit in.   
Not that he complained that much about it, waking up pressed close to the younger man, limbs tangles into each other.   
No, but the place was crammed and the closet space didn't have a window or any other ventilation, which made it hot as hell!

So he was more than happy to hear that he would get his room back!   
Jesus trailer was one of the trailers that had been saved, almost free from any damage, but he had to lend it out to other people for a while longer, not that Daryl had heard the man complain about it.

Daryl had been sleeping a lot better the last few days.  
He'd been helping out a lot with the rebuilding, feeling drained and pleasantly tired right before he went to sleep.   
The nightmares hadn't been as vivid as they used to either, Jesus had managed to wake him up right before Negan started to bash anyone's heads in, making him wake up feeling more rested.

Daryl had been thinking about his and Jesus growing relationship the whole day.   
He wasn't sure what kind of relationship they had thought. He knew they shared the bed every night, but they hadn't really mover forward aside from the kissing.   
That was something they did every night now.   
Just a light kiss before they went to sleep.  
He realized pretty fast that thinking about the feeling of Jesus soft lips on his own wasn't the smartest thing to think about when working with a hammer and nails, looking down at his sore thumb, the nail of it slowly turning black.

It was after he'd hit his thumb for the fifth time in an hour that same evening he decided to call it a night and dropped the hammer on the dirt floor.

“You're leaving?” Wes asked him from the trailers roof.

“Yea, s’ getting late.” He said looking up at the man, shielding his eyes with his hand from the retreating sun.   
“Was thinking bout getting somethin’ ta eat before getting some sleep.”

He saw the man moving his head in a small approving nod.  
“You go do that, I'll see you tomorrow then.”

Daryl waved at him and turned around, starting to walk towards the dining place.   
He wasn't that hungry, but he figured he needed to get something into his system after several hours of building in the blazing sun.   
He was dying for something to drink, that was for sure.

When he got into the dining place he saw Jesus sitting by one of the tables talking to Sasha.   
As he laid eyes on the younger man his mind immediately flashed back to the thoughts he'd had all through the day, and the slight confusion of what they were to each other followed with the them.   
He wanted to ask the scout about what the growing thing between them was, but he didn't know how to bring it up, or if he even should.

As he was standing there daydreaming and staring at the younger man, said man turned his head towards him and smiled.

“Hey! Grab a plate and join us!” He said motioning at the empty chair beside him.

Dropping all thoughts about his and Jesus strange relationship for now, he nodded and went to grab his food.

 


	4. Chapter Four

After they'd eaten their dinner Daryl and Jesus walked back to Daryl's room, getting ready for the night.   
The sun had gone down, making the room dark, aside from the pale moonlight shining in through the stained window.

It had started out as usual at first, they both laying on their sides, facing each other and talking about their day.   
As they both fell silent Jesus had leaned in towards Daryl, meeting his lips in a soft kiss.   
Daryl had started to look forward to the goodnight and good morning kisses, it was the perfect way to start and end the day.  
The rest of the day could totally suck for all he cared, just as long as he had Jesus kisses to look forward to.

Things escalated that night though.  
As he laid there on his side with Jesus soft lips against his, he could feel Jesus open his mouth just a little and stuck his tongue out, just a little, stroking Daryl's bottom lip with it.   
Daryl gasped in surprise by the sudden wetness and Jesus didn't hesitate to spring into action, delving deeper into the kiss.   
Daryl collected himself pretty quickly and kissed Jesus back with equal passion.

Daryl rolled over on his back, pulling Jesus with him so he was straddling Daryl's waist.   
He could feel his member stirring to life by the feeling of Jesus already erect cock pressing against it, causing just the tiniest but so delicious friction by the way the younger man moved on top of him.

When they finally broke apart for much needed air Daryl stared deeply into Jesus eyes, almost glowing in the moonlit room and hooded over with lust.   
Jesus breathed short puffs of air on a few strands of hair that had fallen down across his face.   
Daryl raised his hand and tucked away the few strands of unruly hair behind his ear.

“What are we?” Daryl blurted out, immediately regretting the words as soon as they leaved his mouth.  
‘What the hell Dixon?!’ He scolded himself, certain that he'd put an end to whatever they'd started.

Jesus tensed a little on top of him, and Daryl opened his mouth, trying to come up with an excuse for his verbal slip-up, but got silenced by Jesus extended finger being pressed to his lips.

Daryl got more and more antsy by Jesus silence as the seconds went by.   
He felt his raging heard hammer inside his chest and his gut twisted almost painfully as the nervousness grew.   
He was about to shove the smaller man off of him and storm out of the room when Jesus finally opened his mouth.

“I don't know.” He said and Daryl could feel how his heart fell in his chest. Jesus must've seen it on his face and continued quickly.  
“I know I have feelings for you, really strong feelings actually. But…”  
He trailed off and took a deep breath.

“But?!” Daryl urged, wanting him to continue.

“But I'm scared. I'm scared of the thought of us starting up something and I end up losing you, or you losing me. I know people say you shouldn't be scared of your feelings, that it's better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all. And it sounds great, in theory, but truth is that I'm terrified!”  
He said, almost spitting the words out while grasping Daryl's hand and held on to it tightly.

“I know what ya mean.” Daryl murmured, squeezing Jesus hand back.

“It's just that I've lost so much already.” Jesus continued.   
“I don't know if I could handle that again. I want to let you in fully, but with the war going on and everything… I just can't.”

Daryl nodded, he understood. He knew that fear all too much.   
He knew what it felt like to lose loved ones, to watch as the life went out in their eyes and then having to live with that empty feeling inside his heart they'd left there.  
Despite all that he had to ask the younger man one more thing, not ready to give it up just yet. Not when he knew the other man felt the same way.

“We could live in the moment, just for now. Lay off the titles. Could you handle that?” He almost cringed at how needy and lovesick he sounded, but he had to know. He wasn't ready to give up damnit! He would take what he could get. He wasn't sure if he was ready to have a full blown relationship himself, but they didn't need to be together to be close right?

Daryl felt the heavy nervousness from before return again as he waited for Jesus to answer him.   
His heart fluttered so fast in his chest he was afraid it would jump right out of him.   
He felt Jesus shift on top of him, and for a brief moment he thought the younger man was going to move off of him, but then he leaned down, brushing his lips against Daryl's, so light and soft he barely felt it.

“I think I could manage that.” Jesus breathed on his lips then, his voice so low and husky it sent shivers throughout Daryl's body.   
Daryl grasped the back of Jesus head and pulled him in for a searing kiss, making both men moan in each others mouths as their tongues tangled together.

Daryl's hands trailed up underneath Jesus shirt, enjoying the feeling of the smooth warm skin of the younger mans chest against his palms.  
He could feel Jesus hands travel up his arms, his palms landing on the swell of the older mans biceps.

“I've always liked your arms.” He murmured against Daryl's mouth, earning a small chuckle from the older man which Jesus swallowed down with another breathtaking kiss.

Daryl's hands traveled from Jesus chest to his back and pulled him closer towards him, desperate for more contact. The closeness elected a breathily moan from the scout.   
Jesus hips started to move, desperately seeking for friction and Daryl grabbed hold of the other mans ass, pressing him down harder against him.

“Oh my… Daryl…” Jesus breathed, making Daryl groan deeply within his throat, enjoying how Jesus felt on top of him, how well their bodies molded together.

“Clothes. I want them off!” The scout said next, pushing himself off of Daryl, making the older man whine a little in protest of the loss of Jesus body heat, and sat up on the bed to help the younger man take off his shirt and unbutton his pants, wanting them off fast.

When Jesus slid off the bed to rid himself of his pants and boxers, Daryl began to unbutton his shirt with slightly shaking hands.  
Jesus noticed it and grabbed them in his own to stop Daryl in his tracks.

“Are you alright? If we're moving too fast you have to tell me.” He said. Daryl could feel Jesus intense eyes on him and looked up.

“No. Want this, m’ just… Nervous? Never done this sober before.” He explained.   
Jesus nodded and released Daryl's now more steady hands to help him with the buttons on the shirt.

“Good. I want this too.” He whispered, the words ghosting against Daryl's mouth by how close he was.   
“God I want you.” He said kissing him deeply before backing away to unbutton and pull Daryl's pants and underwear off in one swift motion.   
  
He then bent down and started tracing Daryl's stiff cock with his fingers, making the other man shiver and whimper in the back of his throat.   
Daryl leaned forward, sneaking his arms around the smaller mans waist and pulled him on top of him again, enjoying the feeling of naked flesh agains his.

Jesus pushes Daryl down so he was laying in his back again and claimed his mouth with his.   
Daryl touched every inch of Jesus body he could reach and stiffened up when he felt Jesus hand travel south and grab hold of his hard and aching length and started moving his hand up and down on it.   
Daryl broke his mouth away from Jesus and moaned deeply, he could feel Jesus give him open mouthed kisses along Daryl's jawline down to his throat, his full beard scratching him on his throat and chest, that only making his arousal intensify even more.

Daryl panted and whimpered softly when Jesus bit down on his neck, and licked the red marks he'd left there.

“I want you.” Jesus whispered into his ear, making him shudder slightly and nodded, too far gone to form any intelligible words.

Jesus started kissing him all the way over his chest and stomach down towards his groin. He stopped and looked up at Daryl with a mischievous grin on his lips before he extended his tongue and licked a long stripe from the base to the tip of Daryl's straining erection, earning a sharp intake of breath that later morphed into a hiss when the younger man took the whole length into his mouth and sucked him all the way down.

Daryl dug his fingers into the sheets, trying desperately not to blow his load then and there by how amazing Jesus hot mouth felt.   
Jesus suddenly stopped and pulled his mouth off of Daryl's rock hard cock, making Daryl whine a little in protest and sat up slightly, leaning on his elbows to look at Jesus.

The scout straddled Daryl's hips once again and kissed him, making Daryl forgive him from letting go of his cock instantly.   
Jesus reached behind himself, grasping Daryl's length again and steadied it as he slowly lowered himself down on it.

When Daryl felt himself slowly entering Jesus, he almost blacked out from the intense pleasure.   
He fell back on the bed and groaned deeply from the back of his throat.   
He could hear Jesus soft moans and pants as he took him deeper and deeper into him, almost agonizingly slow.

When Daryl was finally fully seated Jesus paused and leaned down to give him a wet messy kiss.   
After a few seconds Daryl grasped Jesus hips and wiggled around tentatively, earning another breathily moan from the smaller man.

Jesus began to move then, starting up slowly at first, but sped up gradually to a rhythm they both enjoyed.   
Daryl could feel his climax starting to creep up on him after a while and sneaked his hand between their sweaty bodies, grasping Jesus heard and leaking cock and began pumping it in time with their movements.  
He could hear Jesus pants getting more and more erratic as he too got closer to his orgasm.  
Daryl picked up the pace, meeting Jesus with his own thrusts with a little more force.

“I'm close.” Jesus panted, his jaw slacking off and eyes fluttered close.

Daryl sped up his movements over Jesus cock, earning a high pitched moan form the younger man.

“Fuck! I'm coming!” He grunted, seconds before thick white streaks of come spurted out and landed on Daryl's chest and stomach.

Daryl could feel Jesus muscles clamping down on him and tumbled over just a few seconds after the scout, throwing his head back against the pillow and moaning his release to the ceiling.   
Jesus fell on top of him afterwards, completely spent.

*

When Daryl woke up he was alone in the bed.   
The sun was shining brightly and sounds of the rebuilding could be heard from the slightly open window.

Daryl jumped out off the bed and began searching around for his clothes that had landed scattered all across the room from last nights activities.

He'd just gotten his pants on and was sitting on the bed, trying to turn his shirt right when he heard the door open quietly.   
He looked up and found Jesus entering while balancing a tray of food and a bottle of water with his right arm.   
Daryl got up from the bed to help the other man with the tray and the water bottle.

“Thank you.” Jesus replied softly, closing the door behind him.

“No problem.” Daryl said, walking over and putting the stuff down on the table next to the bed.  
“Why didn't ya wake me up?” The archer asked after sitting down on the bed again, continuing to readjust his shirt.

“I thought you needed the sleep. You looked so peaceful, so yeah…” He trailed off and looked over at Daryl who just nodded at him, knowing what was getting at.   
Even though his sleep pattern had approved a great deal, the nightmares still took its toll on him, on both of them.

Daryl had turned his shirt right and began to button it while glancing over at Jesus who were still standing by the door, looking at him with his big eyes.   
“Didn't wake up screaming tonight.” He said.

“You didn't.” Jesus simply stated, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He looked restless, glancing out of the window every now and then.

“Yer needed somewhere?” Daryl asked, beginning to get stressed out by Jesus antsy behavior.

“Yeah, I'm training my group any minute now. Just wanted to get you some breakfast since you missed it.” He said with a gesture to the tray on the table.

Daryl looked over at the tray he'd completely forgotten about.

“I thought you might be hungry.” He added with a meaning glance, Daryl felt his face heat up when he cashed on what Jesus meant by his words.

He murmured a soft “thanks” and turned back to look at the tray again.   
There was some fruit, a piece of bread and some tomatoes.   
As he took a bite of the dry bread he felt how hungry he actually was, not eating enough for days and then having sex had done wonders to his appetite.

Jesus walked over and sat down beside the hunter, making the other man give him a questioning look.   
“Thought ya needed ta go.” He said after swallowing the bread down with some help of a little water.

“In a minute. Doesn't look like there's anybody there yet.” He said looking over at Daryl.

They sat in silence for a while, Daryl eating his breakfast while stealing some glances from the younger man. He could feel Jesus doing the same thing to him.

“Maggie want us to be ready in a week.” Jesus said, breaking the silence between them.

“Ya think that's possible?”

“I don't know.” Jesus said with a shrug.   
“Feels like I've thought the people everything I can teach them by now. There's always room for improvement, but I doubt they will get any better in that short amount of time.”

Daryl hummed in agreement, knowing that he was right. They wouldn't miraculously get pros at martial arts in a couple of weeks, good enough was what they were aiming at, and they'd reached that point now.

Jesus sighed and stood up.   
“We'll just make the best of the situation.”  
He leaned forward, and gave Daryl a quick peck on the lips before he walked towards the door.   
“I need to go. But come find me when you have the time.”

Daryl nodded, still a little dazed by the goodbye kiss.

Jesus's smiled at him and walked out off the room.

*

Daryl walked out of his room after eating the breakfast Jesus had brought for him to look for Maggie.   
He wanted to have some updated on the training routines and maybe even bring up the conversation he'd had with Jesus.   
He really wanted to know if she was sure that the Hilltop people was ready for war.

He found her in the study, discussing something with Sasha.   
They stopped talking the minute they saw him walk through the door.

“What's going on?” He asked them, looking from Maggie to Sasha.

“I was talking to Sasha about sending some people over to Alexandria. We have to get ready and soon.” Maggie said looking sternly over at Sasha.

“And I was telling Maggie, that we are nowhere ready yet!” Sasha said, glaring back at the other woman.

“We have to be ready, there's not enough time!” Maggie hissed, looking over at the open door where Daryl was standing.   
“Daryl could you please close the door. Don't want Gregory to find out what we're planning.”

Daryl turned around and shut the door as quietly as he could and then turned back to the arguing women.

“Where's Gregory?” He asked them, wondering since he usually was sitting cooped up in the room they were occupying.

“He's taking notes of the building progress.” Maggie told him.   
“I said it would earn him more trust from the people if he took more part in the people and the rebuilding.   
Not without some arguing, but I won him over in the end.”

The sinister smile Maggie was sporting made him wonder what Maggie had done or said to make him go outside, but chose not to ask.   
He wanted to get back to the previous subject.

“Me and Jesus could go.” He said then.   
“To Alexandria.”   
He itched for going outside the walls. Even if he could go outside the walls to go hunting it wasn't the same thing as actually going away.   
And he really wanted to visit his old home, he wanted to see Judith and the others. He wanted to make sure everyone was alright, wanted to see it with his own two eyes.

Sasha turned her head to look at him, and Maggie's eyes went wide at his suggestion.

“Daryl. If the saviors find you…”

“They can just as easily find me here.” He cut her off.

“They have already looked here. I doubt they will look again any time soon.” She said.

“And even if you go to Alexandria and get the people here it doesn't change the fact that we're still not ready!” Sasha said.

“Paul think we are.” Daryl said with a shrug.   
“He told me this morning. Said we're as ready as we're going ta be.”

Sasha shook her head and mumbled something under her breath.

“I don't know Daryl. Seems to risky.” Maggie said slowly.

“Look! We can take the smaller roads. It will take longer, but it will be safer.” Daryl said, frustration tainting his voice.

Maggie and Sasha looked at each other. He could tell that they still weren't convinced, but they were considering it.

“You know me n’ Paul are the best for the job.” He ended with, hoping with all his being that it would win them over.

Maggie sighed and looked at him with her hands on her hips.   
“Fine.” She said.   
“If Jesus agrees to take you with him you can go.”

Daryl was dancing a mental victory dance at Maggie's agreement.  
“But!” She said smiling sweetly at him, Daryl didn't like that smile at all.   
“You have to tell him.”

Fuck! Daryl thought.   
He wasn't sure about how Jesus would like Daryl going with him, since he knew Jesus and Maggie usually agreed with everything.

“Fine!” He grumbled.

*

Daryl leaved the Barrington house and walked off to find Jesus.   
He studied the people rebuilding the broken trailers as he passed them.   
Some people had even taking to build some small cabins. They wouldn't be fit for living in in the winter months, due to the lack of isolation, but they would be perfect in the summer.

He spotted Jesus training a group of people in close combat near the stables and moved his steps over there.   
At first glance he noticed that Jesus students had gotten quite good!   
Sure their movement weren't nearly as swift and precise as their teachers was, but far better than the first time he'd seen them!

His eyes darted back at Jesus and immediately got caught just by how swiftly and graciously he moved!  
It was mesmerizing!  
He watched his body’s movements, the twist of his torso, the full control of his arms and legs, even his hair flowed in a perfect grace when he showed a girl how to evade a knife.  
He moved with an inner rhythm, like a deadly dance.   
It was beautiful to watch.

After a few minutes the younger man noticed Daryl's eyes on him and told his group to break it up for the day.   
Jesus turned his body around and smiled at Daryl.  
Daryl felt his face heat up in embarrassment by getting caught practically drooling all over the ninja scout.   
What was wrong with him? He acted like a horny teenager again!  
He blamed it solely on Jesus.

“It's going good don't you think?”  
Jesus asked when he'd walked closer to Daryl.  
“They're getting the hang of things. They're not doing perfect, and like I told you, we could use more time. But I think… I think we stand a chance.”

“It looked good.” Daryl said, and blushed just as the words left his mouth, and blushes even harder when he saw the mischievous smirk Jesus were shooting him.

“You think?” Jesus asked, winking at him.

“Shut up.” Daryl grumbled, bumping his shoulder at Jesus.  
Jesus laughed and steadied himself quickly.

“I've talked ta Maggie.” Daryl said when Jesus had stopped laughing.

“About what?” Jesus asked, all sources of playfulness disappearing from his face.

“You and I going ta Alexandria. Ta bring back Rick ad the others. Maggie want us ta get ready as soon as possible. Group up n’ shit.”

Jesus looked over at the part of the group he'd trained that hadn't left the area just yet.   
Most of them were young, early to mid twenties. Some even younger.   
There was a sullen look on Jesus face when he looked at them, like he knew that some of them weren't going to make it.

“It's funny how fast reality hits you. Like I'm training these people for war. It's easy to forget that part you know?” he said softly.   
Daryl hummed and watched as the last peoples from Jesus group walked away, talking happily to each other like they'd just been to any other martial arts class. Like they weren't preparing for what could be the last day of their lives.

“You sure that's a good idea?” Jesus asked turning back to Daryl.   
“You and me going to Alexandria together? You know Negan’s looking for you.”

“I know. But if we're careful and stick to the small roads we can make it.” Daryl said, mentally preparing himself for what Jesus would say.  
“Maggie said the same thing. I made her approve, we can do this. I really want ta see how the place is.”

Jesus nodded while breathing out a hushed “alright”.   
Daryl looked at him wide eyed, not believing he'd won the scout over so easily.

“When are we leaving?” Jesus asked then.

“Im not sure. Supposed ta get back ta Maggie after I'd talked ta ya.

“Alright!” Jesus exclaimed and began to walk away in the direction of the house.  
“Get back to me after you talked to her!”

Daryl just stared after the man, still not quite believing it had been that easy to get him onboard.   
There had to be a catch, Daryl knew there had to be.

*

Daryl found Maggie and told her that Jesus had agreed to go with him to Alexandria.   
She looked a little annoyed when he presented her with the information, probably believing just as Daryl had, that Jesus would've put up more of a fight at the idea.   
But she didn't say anything about it. She just looked at him and nodded.

“Alright, fine. You'll leave in the morning. And don't stay for too long, we need you back here ASAP.”

Daryl nodded in agreement and left the study, bumping into Gregory on his way out.

“Aaah. Darren! In a hurry are we?” The weasel said in his overly polite voice.

“Yea, someone's gotta make sure the rebuilding moves forward correctly.” Daryl snapped, not even bothering with correcting him for the name miss.

“I've just come from there. Everything's going according to plan.” He said looking pleased with himself.

“Well then. Looks like I have the day off!” Daryl said, forcing a grin and stalked away, hearing Gregory muttering something behind him.

Daryl left the Barrington house in a hurry. He'd thought about walking into his and Jesus room to tell him about them leaving the next day.   
But his run-in with Gregory had left him in a sour mood and he didn't feel like snapping at the scout for no reason.

He decided to go for a walk and check the snares he'd put up the other day. It would be a good way to clear his head too.   
The next few days had left his head a jumbled mess as it was, the convention with Gregory had added irritation to the mix.   
No, walking it was! He could just talk to Jesus later.   
  
*  
He had walked around in the woods for about an half hour or so. The snares he'd checked had turned out to be empty. He didn't care too much about it, just walking around alone had done quite a deal in calming his nerves back down again.   
It wasn't that he didn't like the company of the other people living at the Hilltop, quite the opposite.   
He'd grown to like quite a few of them, especially Jesus!   
If someone had told him six months prior that he would develop strong feelings for the scout he would've laughed them in the face, or maybe punch their lights out, or maybe even both!

Thing was that he had developed strong feelings for the guy, and he was terrified about it.   
He knew that he weren't supposed to feel that way, him and Jesus had even talked about it the same night they'd more or less thrown themselves at each other.

Why had they thrown themselves at each other?   
Was it an attempt to let themselves feel alive again in the otherwise dead world, or was it something more?

He was used to being able to control his feelings, keep them bottled up deep inside of himself.   
But something about the younger man made it impossible for him to do that now, and that made his feelings run amok with him.  
It had only gotten worse since he'd slept with the man for some reason.   
That bit was really new to him.   
He'd slept with guys before, and not one of them had gotten his feelings to grow for them, quite the opposite actually.

And he kept hearing Jesus words to him that night in his head  
“I've lost so much already, I don't know if I could handle that again.”

Daryl really did understand that fear.   
And with Negan around that fear had only intensified.   
But what if they won? What if the both of them survived? Would Jesus be open to more than sleeping around then?   
He had said that he wanted to let him in, did that mean that he could do that if Negan died?   
He would just have to wait and see, try to put a lid on his emotions in the meantime.

Daryl stopped in his tracks and looked around.  
He'd been so deep in his thoughts that he had failed to notice that he'd been walking around in circles.   
He'd only managed to notice it when he saw the tree with a sharp marking on the rough bark. He remembered walking past it before.

He sighed deeply and decided to give up for the evening, the traps he'd managed to check had been empty, so he presumed the rest of them would be that as well.

Just as he turned around the all too familiar gurgling sound drew his attention and a single walked emerged from a overgrown bush to his right.  
The corpse had barely any hair left, and the clothes had either rotted or gotten ripped away of its body.   
Its ribs were clearly visible and poking out in an unnatural way as it limped closer towards him with its arms outstretched to him.

Daryl unseated his knife and waited until it was close enough for him to just stick the knife into it, not wanting to waist to much energy on a single walker, but he didn't want to leave it either.  
The walker gurgled one last time before going completely slack as Daryl buried his knife in its left temple.  
Dark brown blood gushed out of the head of the walker, coating Daryl's hand and knife completely.

He drew out his knife an let the dead walker fall to the ground.  
He then cleaned his knife on his already stained pants and walked away.

*

He met up with Jesus outside the Barrington house, and together they walked to the common dining area.   
Most of the people had already left and turned in for the night when they got there.   
It had gotten really late, so it didn't come as a big surprise.

He and Jesus grabbed whatever food there was left and sat down in front of each other.

“You really sure about this?” Jesus asked after taken a few bites of his food.   
Daryl looked up from his food at Jesus.   
“About going to Alexandria tomorrow. Are you really sure?”

He had told Jesus about them leaving in the morning on their way over to the dining area.   
“I am. Like I said, we just have to be careful.” He said after swallowing a big bite of pasta.

“Okey.” Jesus answered and turned back to his own food.

Daryl studied the younger man for a few heartbeats, still not really understanding why he'd let it go so easy.  
Jesus looked up at Daryl after a while, looking at him questioningly, no doubt after feeling the other mans gaze on him.

“Why didn't ya put up more of a fight?” Daryl asked him then.  
Jesus furrowed his brows and tilted his head to the side.   
“About us going away tomorrow, why didn't ya try ta talk me out of it?”

Jesus sighed and looked down at his food again, poking around in the sticky pasta with his fork.   
“I know how much you want to go. I know how much those people mean to you and since I know that, I also know that talking you out of it would be impossible.” He answered.   
He stopped poking around in his food and trained his eyes at Daryl's.  
“You can't tell me I'm not right, just as little as you can tell me you would've backed down, no matter what I would've said.”

Daryl looked away from Jesus piercing gaze. He was right, it was like the scout could read him just as easy as any of the books he collected.

“No. Yer right.” He murmured, looking back at the other man.

Jesus smiled softly at him and nodded.  
“I know, that's why I thought it was pointless to argue with you.”

They ate in silence for a while after their brief conversation had died out.   
Sharing glanced at each other every now and then.   
Every time Daryl felt the younger man looking at him his heart would flutter wildly in his chest, and he couldn't help to wonder if the scout knew what his glanced did to him. Since he could read him so well he thought he did.   
He also couldn't help to wonder if his glances had the same effect on Jesus.   
He could only hope they did.

*

Daryl slept restlessly that night.  
Jesus had been having to wake him up several times.   
The nightmares seemed to blend into real life, making it impossible for Daryl to know where the dream ended and where real life began.

He dreamed about seeing Jesus severed head mounted on a spike, screaming in agony.   
When he woke up to Jesus screaming his name he'd been so lost in the dream it just kept on going.   
The shadows on Jesus face looked like blood dripping from his pale moonlit features.

Jesus had to talk him down through the panicked state he was in, rocking him and kissing his face softly. Desperately trying to convince the panicked man that he was alive and well.   
It wasn't easy, but he succeeded every time.

“What's triggering this?” Jesus asked after calming Daryl down for the forth time that night.

“I don't know.” He said, his voice still a bit shaky from the panic.   
“I think, maybe it's because we're going away tomorrow?”

He could feel Jesus nodding his head from behind him by how close he was.  
“Maybe.” He murmured, his warm breath ghosting over Daryl's neck, sending light shivers through his body.

“I'm scared you know. I know they can find us, even if we're careful.” He confessed. He was! Not for his sake, but for Jesus’s. He didn't care about what would happen to himself it he was captured, he was terrified about what they would do to Jesus if they found him.

“It will be fine Daryl.” Jesus said sleepily.   
The poor guy had to bee exhausted for taking care of his sorry ass all damn night.   
Daryl felt bad about it, almost considered not sleeping for the rest of the night if that meant that Jesus would get some rest.

“Go to sleep Daryl, you'll need it!” Jesus slurred, sounding half asleep already.   
Jesus tightened his arm around Daryl and pulled him in even closer, nuzzling his face into Daryl's neck.  
“It'll be fine.” He said again.

“I really hope so.” Daryl mumbled.

*  
The ride to Alexandria was uneventful. They didn't run into any saviors on the way, much to Daryl's relief.   
They didn't run into anything at all!   
It was eerily quiet all the way over there!   
Not even as much as a single walker was spotted, which they both found very strange.

“They're rotting away you know. That makes it harder for them to move.” Jesus said, looking out on the ghostly empty road.  
“Can't be easy to walk if your limbs keep falling off.”

“Yea, must be it!” Daryl said laughing at Jesus morbid joke.

*  
When they finally rolled in through the gates of Alexandria the sun had began to set.   
They had gotten a late start, sleeping in far later than Daryl felt comfortable doing, but he wasn't surprised by it, giving they both having slept really bad with Daryl waking up in a screaming fit throughout the night.

The first Daryl noticed when they'd parked the car by the gate was that nothing had changed.   
The houses stood exactly like they'd done when he'd left the place, the streets looked the same, not even a single tree seemed to be missing!   
He exhaled a breath he didn't knew he'd been holding and walked out of the car with Jesus right behind him.

As they walked from the car they were greeted by Rick, Michonne, Eugene, Aaron and Eric.   
Eugene, being the one who let them in through the gates, was the first one to give Daryl an awkward, but equally warm hug.   
The rest of his family had spotted them from their porches and had come running towards them down the street.   
They all gave Daryl and Jesus bone-crushing hugs.

“Good to see you back here!” Rick said once he let him go from the embrace.   
“But why are you here?”

Daryl looked at all of them and felt his face fall a little.   
In the excitement of seeing his family again he'd almost forgotten the real reason to why he was there in the first place.

“Maggie wants you to come back to the hilltop. She wants us to train together before the kingdom gets there.” Daryl answered.

Rick nodded, his face looking hard.  
“Figured.” He said.  
“When?”

“In a few days.” Daryl answered, wanting to draw out the visit as long as he could.   
He hadn't liked Alexandria that much from the start, but it still had that strange feeling of home to it.

Rick nodded again and began to walk back to the houses.   
Daryl and the rest following closely behind him.   
Once they’d gotten halfway over to where Rick and Michonne were living he spotted Tara walking out from the house across of theirs.   
She stopped and stared straight at him before she took off running towards him.

Daryl froze, not sure what he was expecting her to do.   
Was she angry with him? Was she going to beat him up?   
He would take it if she did, he deserved it.

When she was close enough she all but threw herself into his arms and held on so tight around him, he was positive his ribs would snap.

“Thank god you're safe.” She said, her voice thick with tears.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!   
> I'm sorry for the late update!  
> I really struggled with this one!   
> I really hope you liked it though!   
> :)


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for my absence!   
> I really didn't plan for it to take me over a month to get this chapter out!   
> But real life and all that shit! 
> 
> Well, it's up now!   
> I'm not entirely happy about this chapter, but I hope it fits anyway.   
> A lot of Daryl feels and stuff. 
> 
> Hope you'll like it!

Daryl followed Tara to the house she shared with Rosita.   
They didn't say anything to each other on the way over there, Daryl was to caught up in his thoughts about what he should say to her.  
It was his fault that her girlfriend was dead!   
He was the one that had let her go with him and Rosita outside the walls, despite knowing she was inexperienced.   
Sure, there was no way he'd known that Dwight would show up when he did, but he still felt guilty for it.   
If she’d stayed beyond the wall like she supposed to, she'd still be alive!

“Daryl…” She started after she'd closed the door behind them and turned around to face Daryl.  
Her eyes were still shining with unshed tears. The sight made a huge lump form in Daryl's throat, feeling like he was going to suffocate on it.   
“I-I just want to tell you, I don't… It wasn't your fault.”   
She paused, drawing in a shaky breath.

Daryl tried to swallow the huge lump in his throat down and collect himself enough to speak without breaking down.   
He had no right to cry, it was because of his stupidity Tara was like this.

“She, she knew what she was getting herself into. You guys only did what she asked.” Tara continued after collecting herself a little.

“No. I should've stopped her, knew what could happen… ‘m so so…” Daryl argued.

“Stop!” Tara cut him off.   
“So did she. She was a smart woman, one of the smartest I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.  
If you guys hadn't brought her with you I'm sure she would've went out on her own. She wanted to learn how to take care of herself, and you guys offered her that.”

Tara smiled sadly at him and put her hand on his arm in a comforting manner.   
The whole thing felt totally wrong to him, she was the one comforting him when she was the one that had lost her girlfriend.   
But he accepted the gesture nevertheless.   
“I'm not mad, and I don't blame you.” She said then.

That broke the dam for him, and he felt tears stating to run down his cheeks, unable to stop them.   
Tara walked closer to him, bringing him into a tight hug.  
He felt her shake slightly by her own quiet sobs and hugged her even tighter.

He didn't know how long they stood there, in the dusty hallway of Tara's house.   
But he knew that he felt lighter and more at ease than in a long while.   
Tara didn't blame him.   
He didn't deserve the forgiveness of the kindhearted woman currently hugging him tightly, but he was happy about it.

*  
Tara followed Daryl over to Rick and Michonne’s house, the heavy air that had been hanging over the two of them had been lifted.  
They didn't say anything to each other as they walked side by side down the street, they didn't need to, all that had been needed to be said had already been said.

When they walked into the house they were greeted with the sight of Rick and Michonne sitting in the living room talking to Jesus.   
Eric and Aaron were sitting on the couch in front of Jesus, quietly talking to each other.

“I started filling them in,” Jesus said looking at Daryl from his place in the armchair.   
“Hope you don't mind.”

Daryl shook his head no and sat down on an empty place on the sofa next to Michonne.  
“What have ya told them?” He asked.

“Just about how our training have been working out and stuff like that.” Jesus said, smiling at him.

Daryl nodded and turned towards Rick.   
“How's everything working out over here?”

“Well, the saviors payed us a visit not long after we got back.” Michonne said, crossing her arms over her chest.   
“They didn't do much, just took a few of our supplies, mostly food and went through the houses looking for you.” She nodded at Daryl when she said the last part, and Daryl stiffened a little in his seat.   
“They left shortly after and reminded us about their next visit.”

“I'm sorry.” Daryl said, looking down at his hands in his lap.

“We don't blame you for anything.”Aaron said and Daryl looked up at him.   
He smiled warmly at the hunter, making Daryl feel a little better.

“Other than that, everything's been going just fine!”Rick said, stroking the top of a half asleep Judith, who were resting in his lap.   
“We have been scavenging for more weapons and food, and Eugene have been busy making us some bullets. Everything's going great.”

“Sounds good.” Daryl said, looking at the small girl on Ricks lap.   
“She's gotten so big.”he blurted out without even thinking.   
It hadn't been that long since he'd seen the girl, but she looked bigger for some reason,  
Taller and less baby-like.

“Yeah, she's growing like weed!” Rick said looking down at his daughter, who had finally fallen asleep.   
“We'll have to find new clothes for her soon, she's almost outgrown the ones we found for her on our last run.”

Daryl hummed quietly, snapping his eyes over at Jesus who were sitting in the armchair next to Rick, he too were looking at the small child.

“There might be clothes her size at the Hilltop” he said then.   
“I can check if you want.”

Rick nodded and stood up carefully, not to wake the sleeping child.  
“I'd be grateful if you did” he said.   
“I'll just go and put her to bed.”

At that Rick left the room and walked up the stairs.

”I think it's time for us to head home.” Aaron said with a glance over to his boyfriend.

“Yeah, you two must be tired too.” Eric said, looking at Daryl and Jesus.  
“We have enough room for the both of you, if you want to stay at our house.”

Jesus looked over at Daryl and shrugged, his eyes telling him that it was his decision to make.   
Daryl really liked the two men, and was really happy that they had offered them a place to stay.   
In all honesty, he would prefer to stay over at their house than in his old room in the attic, the bed just being a bit too narrow for the both of them, and sleeping next to Jesus had become so natural to him that spending a night without him was completely out of the question.   
The problem was telling Rick he would be spending the night over at Aaron and Eric without him being offended.

“I think that's a great idea!” Rick said, walking back to the living room.   
Daryl raised his eyebrows in complete surprise and looked over at his brother.  
“Our place it's quite crowded, and Judith tends to wake up way too early in the mornings.”

“Well then it's settled!” Aaron said getting up from the sofa, his boyfriend doing the same.

“How about you two meet up here tomorrow for breakfast, and talk things over.” Rick said, looking from Daryl to Jesus.

The two men nodded in agreement, and then everyone got up and said there good nights and walked towards the hallway.   
Jesus fallowed after Aaron and Eric, and Daryl was just about to walk after them when Rick grabbed hold of his wrist.   
Daryl turned around to look at the slightly older man, furrowing his brow questioningly.

“Can I talk with you for a while?” He asked.

Daryl turned to Jesus who were standing in the doorway, watching Daryl and Rick curiously.

“I'll catch up.” Daryl said to him, Jesus nodded and closed the door behind him.

Rick let go of Daryl's arm and motioned at him to follow him to the kitchen area.   
Michonne who was in the kitchen walked past Rick and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before leaving them alone.

“You guys have gotten quite serious.” Daryl murmured, sitting down by the kitchen island.

“I guess so.” Rick chuckled, opening the fridge and took two bottles of water, handing one to Daryl and sat down across of him.   
“Been building up for a while I guess.  
It just happened so naturally, like everything with her.”

“I'm happy for ya.” Daryl said, taking a sip from the water bottle.

“Yeah, me too.” Rick said, taking a swig from his own bottle.   
“Speaking of which.” He said, putting his bottle down on the table. “Was wondering what's going on between you and Jesus.”

Daryl was completely taken off guard by the unexpected question, and almost choked on his water.   
After swallowing down the water and taking a few calming breaths Daryl looked at ricks amused face.

“What?” He chocked out.

Rick smiled at him and screwed the cap back on his bottle before continuing speaking.   
“I've noticed something going on between the two of you, it was even more evident back at the kingdom.” He said with a calm voice.   
“The way you two almost fought for getting paired up in the same room.”

Daryl fidgeted a little in his seat, not sure how to respond.   
Because Rick wasn't wrong, but he wasn't right either.

“If there is something between you two, I just want to say that I'm happy for you.” He said, making it clear that he didn't disapprove of their relationship.

“I'm not sure what we are.” Daryl said after a few heartbeats.   
Rick leaned in closer toward him, leaning his weight on his folded arms.   
“It's complicated.” Daryl decided on saying, because he thought it sounded far better than saying – “we're just fooling around at the moment.”

“Complicated?” Rick asked, tilting his head to the side.

“Yea, haven't really talked much about it.” He said, which wasn't totally a lie. They hadn't talked much about their relationship other than the brief conversation before they ended up sleeping with each other, and that conversation had more or less been about a mutual agreement not to engage in a relationship, right now.   
“We've been getting closer, that's for sure.   
But I can't really tell you anything else, even if I wanted to.”

Rick nodded and looked down at the table.   
“What do you want Daryl?” Rick asked then, looking up at Daryl intensely.  
  
That question threw Daryl off guard just as much as the first one.   
Because he wasn't sure about what he wanted.   
He was sure about that he was interested in Jesus on more than a friendly level, and that he wanted to build something from there. But just as he and Jesus had said to each other prior, he too was afraid.   
Not about the relationship per se, but about what it would do to him if he lost Jesus later, just like he was.

“I don't know.” Daryl heard himself say, just like he'd said to Carol when she had asked.

Rick nodded again, looking like he'd expected that kind of answer from him.   
“I get it.” He said then.   
“I never thought I would be able to love again after Lori, I felt to numb and broken to even think about it.   
But when I looked into Michonne’s eyes that night, I knew that I was able to again, and I just knew that it was worth it. It still is, and it always will.   
She healed me somehow, and I know we could end badly, but I wouldn't change anything.”

*

When Daryl walked across the quiet street towards Aaron and Eric's house the conversation he'd had with Rick kept on spinning around in his brain.   
He couldn't help to think of that had been ricks point, to make Daryl actually think about it.   
A big part of him didn't think he ever stopped to think about the long haired ninja, but Rick had stirred something inside him with his question, what did he want?  
He knew he wanted jesus.   
But a big part of him was too fucking afraid to really go there.   
But when he'd seen the sincerity in ricks eyes when he talked about Michonne it had stirred another part of him, maybe it was worth it?  
Would Jesus think so?

Daryl groaned as he tried to sort his jumbled mess of thoughts out.   
He rubbed his hands over his face and exhaled before he proceeded to climb the short stairs leading to the porch of Aaron and Eric's house.

When he entered the house he saw Eric, Aaron and Jesus sitting in the living room, talking quietly to each other.   
Jesus noticed him first and looked at him with a bright smile on his face, which woke the butterflies in Daryl's stomach to life.

Shortly after Eric follows Jesus gaze and greets Daryl with a smile of his own.  
“You hungry?” Aaron asked, getting up from the couch.  
“We were just about to start dinner.”

“Yea.” Daryl answered, remembering that he hadn't eaten anything other than a granola bar in the car that morning, so dinner sounded beyond great.

“Why don't we all help out?” Eric suggested then, following his boyfriends example and got off the couch himself.

“Sounds like a plan!” Jesus said and stood up he too.

Aaron and Eric walked hand in hand over to the kitchen, Jesus walking behind them and stayed behind so he was alone with Daryl.

“You okay?” He asked then, probably seeing how tensed Daryl really was.

“Yea m’ fine.” Daryl said, not wanting to tell Jesus about the conversation he had with Rick.   
“Just overwhelmed I guess.”

Jesus nodded and grasped Daryl's hand, which made Daryl heart flutter in his chest.  
“Yeah, been a long day.” He said, Daryl humming in agreement.   
“Let's go help them out.”

Daryl nodded and let Jesus lead him out to the kitchen.

*

Daryl laid on his back, looking up at the ceiling in Eric and Aaron's guest room.  
He'd been laying there, staring up at the ceiling since they’d gone to bed.

Dinner had been a pleasant affair.   
They had all helped out in the kitchen, chopping up various vegetables for the stew they'd been making.   
They'd kept the conversations light, made of topics such as fun stories of what they'd been doing before the turn.   
Daryl had even felt brave enough to tell them his chupacabra story, pleased about that none of them had made fun of him about it.   
Eric had even told him that one of his greatest wishes was seeing the Loch Ness monster.   
It had been a nice distraction for all of them, to focus on something else than the upcoming war against the saviors.  
Not that they didn't want the war to be dealt and over with, no they really wanted it to be over. But Daryl thought that they needed one night with lighthearted conversations.

He could hear the soft snoring of the younger man laying to his left.   
The scout had been so tired and had fallen to sleep as soon as his head had hit the pillow.   
Daryl turned his head to look at the younger man, his face looking relaxed and soft in the pale moonlight shining in through the window.  
A few strands of hair had fallen down on his face and was curling softly agains his upper lip.

Daryl leaned closer and brushed the hair away with his finger, taking in the breathtaking beauty of the man sleeping next to him.   
His mind wandered to the conversation he'd had with Rick again.

How would Jesus react if Daryl told him that he wanted something more, at least after the war?   
Would he shoot him down or think about it?   
Daryl did think that it was a stupid idea to start up something more during a war was a stupid idea, but Rick, Maggie, Tara, Saha and Rosita had all done it.   
And he knew for a fact that Maggie and Tara didn't regret a second of it.   
And now had Rick told him that he too thought it was worth it, even though he'd already lost Lori before this.

Daryl sighed deeply, closed his eyes and tried to will himself to relax enough to get a few hours of sleep before he had to get up.

He felt Jesus shift around beside him and the soft snorting stopped.   
“You awake?” He heard Jesus ask him quietly.

“Yea.” Daryl answered, opening his eyes, figuring it was no point in pretending to be asleep.

“How come?” Jesus asked, propping his head up on his arm to be able to see Daryl better.

“Too much shit running around in my head.” Daryl sighed, deciding to be completely honest with the other man.

“Why don't you tell me about it? Might help a little.” He said.

Daryl thought about it for a while, then he figured why not?   
And talked about the conversation he'd had with Rick.   
He told him Rick had asked him about him and Jesus, and that he'd been unsure about what he should say to his brother.

When he was done talking Jesus had gone so silent Daryl thought he'd fallen back to sleep again.  
He turned his head to look at the other man and saw that he was staring up at the ceiling with furrowed brows, probably in deep thoughts.

“I don't really have an answer to it either.” He said after a while.   
Daryl hummed, casting his eyes up at the ceiling again.

“But I can say,” he started again, making Daryl snap his eyes back to the younger man again.   
“I can say that I’ve gotten a lot closer to you in this short amount of time than I ever thought was possible. And I've already told you that I have feelings for you.”  
Jesus tuned his head and locked eyes with the older man.  
“But I'm still terrified.”

Daryl nodded, not expecting anything else.   
Then Daryl decided to grab the bull by it's horns and actually ask the question that had been paying in his mind, more to confirm it if anything.   
Putting a kid on his emotions be damned, he wanted to know!

“After the war,” he began, pausing to gather some courage. “Do you see a future for us? Do you think we'll be something more?”

Jesus smiled at him while gazing deeply into his eyes.  
Then he leaned forward, pressing his lips softly onto Daryl's.   
It only lasted for a few seconds, before Jesus pulled back again and locked eyes with Daryl again.  
Then he nodded his head yes.

“I definitely believe so.” He said then.

*  
Daryl woke up with a start to Jesus and Aaron holding him down in the bed.   
Eric was standing beside Aaron calling Daryl's name, begging him to wake up.   
He looked at all three men and then down to the length of his body.   
He was covered in sweat, his body shaking and his heart thumping wildly in his chest.

He looked up at the men again, waiting for them to give him an explanation for their need to hold him down – which they had yet to stop doing.

“You awake?” Jesus asked, Daryl's eyes snapping at the scout currently almost sitting on his torso.

“Yea, I think so.” He said, looking down at Aaron by his legs.   
“What's going on?”

Aaron let go of his legs and walked up to the head of the bed.   
“My best guess it that you had a rather violent nightmare.” He said, looking at Jesus who also had let go of Daryl and sat down next to him again.   
“We woke up to Jesus screaming for us to help. When we came in he was sitting on top of you trying to hold you down while you struggled wildly to get him off you.”

“Do you get these kinds of nightmares often?” Eric asked, giving him a look of genuine concern.

“Nightmares yes. But not like this.” He answered, looking at Jesus for help.

“No, he has nightmares frequently, he usually wakes up screaming, but he never gets violent.” Jesus said while grabbing Daryl's hand and gave it a light squeeze.

Daryl turned his head to Jesus who gave him a reassuring smile.   
That slowed Daryl's heartbeat down, who had sped up with worry instead of the aftermath of the nightmare.

“What do you remember?” Jesus asked.

Daryl tried to wrap his head around of the bits and pieces of what the dream had been about, but came up with nothing.   
He remembered what he had been feeling in it, the bone chilling dread and sorrow who had consumed him completely.   
Along with that there had been some flashes of blood, blood who had covered him from head to toe.   
He could still feel it on him.

“Not much.” He said, and told them what he did remember.

“I wonder why it made you react the way you did.” Jesus mused.

“I don't know.” Daryl breathed.   
“Don't know why they're getting even worse all of the sudden.”

“Maybe because the war is closing in.” Aaron pitched in.   
“Your mind might be reacting to your worries because of what you've been through.”

Daryl had to admit to that he had a point.   
Even if he tried to push his worries away, his mind could run freely while he slept.

“We're all worried.” Daryl said as an attempt to brush it off.   
“And I bet all of y'all have nightmares, but ya don't go batshit crazy about it.”

“Off course we are, and we do, but not all of us have been captured by Negan.” Eric stated.

*

Daryl hadn't been able to go back to sleep after he'd been woken up by being held down by Aaron and Jesus while Eric had screamed his name into his ear as an attempt to wake him up.   
They had succeeded, even if he had no clue on how long they'd tried to wake him up.   
None of them had told him, and he hadn't asked.

He'd been laying awake thinking about what Eric had told him.  
“Not all of us have been captured by Negan.”   
Something about that sentence had stirred something inside of him.

He'd always thought that he'd been having the nightmares because of the guilt he felt, still did on some level.   
But since he'd cleared everything up with his friends and family and the nightmares had no signs of going away he'd been in total loss, but Eric just might be on to something.   
He was positive of that he did have the nightmares because of the guilt he was feeling, but not only because of it.   
No, the experience he'd been having while being held captive in the sanctuary was no doubt playing a huge part as well, maybe even a bigger part than he thought.

The only one he'd really talked to about what he'd been thought in the sanctuary was Carol, and they hadn't gone into the subject in any depth.   
Other than that, he hadn't told anyone.   
Figuring that everybody had their own problems, so why the hell should he burden them with his shit?   
But then again, maybe they would be more than happy to listen to him?   
Jesus didn't seem to mind hearing about his problems, he'd even asked him to about it once!  
Daryl hadn't trusted the man enough at the time to tell him then, but now he did.   
The man had after all gotten all the way to help him with his sleeping issues, not even complaining once about it!

Jesus made a small notice in his sleep, as if knowing that Daryl was thinking about him.   
Daryl turned his head towards him, the scout laid curled up on his side, most of his face hidden by his arm and pillow.   
Daryl leaned in closer and planted a kiss on his forehead.   
Jesus hummed softly in his sleep before mumbling out a softly spoken “Daryl.”

*   
Daryl was dead in his feet. He'd spent the remainder of the night with staring on the sleeping Jesus beside him.   
He knew it was kind of creepy, looking on a person while they slept. But it had been either that, looking up at the ceiling or get out off bed, looking at Jesus being the winning option.

They got ready to meet up Rick and Michonne for breakfast a few minutes after Jesus had gotten out of bed.   
Jesus had kept on shooting worried glances at him from the moment he'd gotten out of bed, but hadn't said anything. He kept on looking at him as they walked down the quiet street.

“What?!” Daryl snapped, stopping on the middle of the street halfway to Ricks house. He was getting annoyed faster than usual, even though he knew there was no reason for his irritation.

“Did you get any sleep at all? You know after…” He trailed off.

“No.” Daryl sighed and shook his head.

“Why?” Jesus asked and crossed his arms over his chest.   
“Do you want to repeat what happened before?”

“I'm not! Just… Couldn't sleep okay?” Daryl said while turning away from the other man and began to walk again.   
“I'll try to sleep later okay?”

“Fine.” Jesus said when he catched up with him.   
“I really hope you mean it.”

*

“Good morning!” Rick greeted them when they walked in through the door.  
He was holding Judith in his arms and was just about to put her down in her high chair.

“Breakfasts just about ready.” Michonne said, putting out plates for everyone.

“Anyone else's coming over?” Jesus asked as he walked over to help her set the table.

“No, just you I think.” Rick said and took a seat next to his daughter.   
“We'll arrange for a proper meeting later today.”

Jesus and Daryl nodded their heads and sat down as Michonne took out the rest of the items on the table.   
Breakfast was made of some fruits, homemade bread and beef jerky. It wasn't the best tasting food they'd eaten, but it wasn't stale.

They ate mostly in silence. Every now and then Daryl could feel rick’s or michonnes eyes on him.   
He got the strangest feeling of déjà vu by their worries glances.

“Are you feeling good?” Michonne asked, only intensifying the feeling with her question.

“Just tired” Daryl answered, looking up at her.   
She nodded and shot a glance at Rick before she returned to her food.

Daryl sighed, not longer hungry and got up from his seat.   
He walked out on the porch and lit a cigarette.   
After a few minutes he heard the door swing and saw Jesus step outside when he turned around.   
They stood in silence for a while, just enjoying how quiet it was. They could hear the soft wind rustling in the trees, and even a few birds could be heard.

“Tell you what,” Jesus began, breaking the silence between them.   
“Why don't you go and lay down for a while?”

Daryl looked at the other man, taking one last drag from his cigarette before dropping it down on the porch an crushing it with his boot.

“I think I will be able to handle talking with Rick and Michonne alone.” He continued.

Daryl thought about it for a while, and decided to agree with Jesus once more.

“Fine, but you'll have to promise me to wake me up in an hour.” He said, not wanting to sleep the entire day away, full nights rest or not.

“I will.” Jesus said and leaned forward to give him a peck on the lips before he walked back into the house again, leaving Daryl on the porch stiffed in surprise by the younger mans sudden gesture.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can follow me on tumblr if you like.   
> I go by chalichi over there too!   
> I don't post stuff all that often, but I do hang around there. :)


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